Boy Loses Boy - a set of Ryan/Eric drabbles
Title- Boy Loses Boy - 10 drabbles
Author - alligator138
Fandom - CSI:Miami
Pairing - Ryan/Eric
Rating - PG-13
Summary - Eric gets distracted from what he's got...
Disclaimer - They’re not mine. I mean no harm. I make no money.
Note - I posted all these on an advent calendar, but they're all over the place there, so here they are all together. :D
Breasts
Eric knows that he should break away from Natalia. But she’s there, always there with her smile and giggle... and breasts.
There’s no getting away from it. Eric likes breasts. He loves the size, shape, weight, softness, warmth, the way they feel against his skin.
Ryan’s not screwing around on him, he’s sure of that, and what they’ve built between them is so much better than what he experiences with Natalia, but when she smiles at him and his eyes drift down, he just can’t say no.
So it happens again, and his intentions to break away are forgotten again.
~*~*~*~
Snake
Ryan had no idea that there would turn out to be a snake in his Garden of Eden, one who would whisper temptation into the ear of his lover and steal his paradise away from him. But there she was, in his bed.
He sits on the sidewalk with his bags. One look was enough, one glimpse of that golden, entwined skin. He backed out, grabbing belongings randomly, stuffing them into the first bag he could find, ignoring pleas to slow down, listen, stay.
Eric said he was sorry.
Ryan didn’t believe him. Sorry doesn’t cut it. Not for this.
~*~*~*~
Monogamy
Eric rages. Men aren’t designed to be monogamous, he reasons. He’s not, anyway.
How is it possible to be with the same person forever without feeling the walls close in? How can anyone look at the same face every day without wanting to escape from the cage?
He felt trapped, that was why he did it. Ryan was being unreasonable when he walked out. Eric needs freedom. Ryan should have known that. He can’t let himself be hemmed in by convention, be shackled by monogamy.
He rages, but he knows that he’s wrong, even as he makes a new excuse.
~*~*~*~
Robot
Ryan thinks that he’s become a robot.
He gets up every morning in his new apartment, showers, eats and goes to work. He takes his assignments, does his work, responds to questions from the people around him as well as he can, goes home and eats again.
He feels nothing. He works hard at feeling nothing. Once the flood gates are opened, he’ll be lost, drowned in an ocean of sadness and betrayal.
He had something good, but it fell apart, so now he goes about his business mechanically, doing everything that’s expected of him but that one thing.
Feeling.
~*~*~*~
Not Hurting
If Ryan can do it, then so can Eric.
If Ryan doesn’t care, then nor does Eric.
Obviously, it meant nothing. How else could Ryan be walking around like everything’s normal? He does his work; he talks to people; he insists he’s okay. Alexx doesn’t believe him, but Eric does. Ryan’s face betrays no hint of emotion.
Eric’s emotions are at war. He curses his stupidity; he misses Ryan so badly it’s a physical pain.
But Ryan lets no emotion slip, and Eric won’t let Ryan know how screwed up he is.
If Ryan’s not hurt, then neither is he.
~*~*~*~
Lunacy
This is sheer lunacy.
Even in his drunken state, Ryan realises that, but he grins at Erica anyway and lets her pull him along the hallway to her apartment.
He’s never done this before - any of it.
He’s never gotten anyone drunk in order to get them into bed.
He’s never gotten even drunker to give himself courage.
And he’s never been with a woman before.
But Erica’s been flirting with him long enough, and he wants to know why. Why did Eric need a woman? Why wasn’t Ryan enough for him? What’s so irresistible about women?
This is insanity.
~*~*~*~
In Hiding
Eric stands in the shadows, unable to believe what he’s seeing. Ryan and Erica? He didn’t think Ryan was into women at all.
Ryan stumbles and grins goofily at Erica under the streetlights. She grins back like a shark and tows Ryan away to the parking lot.
Eric watches as they disappear round the corner and steps back further as the headlights of her SUV sweep into the street.
He’d been going to apologise, tell Ryan how much he missed him.
Fuck that! Ryan’s obviously not missing Eric.
He stalks across the street to the bar. He needs a drink.
~*~*~*~
Home Truths
“Nothing happened!”
He doesn’t believe her. He saw the look on Ryan’s face.
“How stupid are you, Delko? He wants you!”
He stares at his shoes, muttering.
Erica steps up to him and hisses. “Nothing happened. I got him home, we started... and... nothing happened.”
Eric looks snarkily into Erica’s eyes. “He’s gay. Didn’t you know?”
She looks back with equal fire. “He’s in love. Didn’t you know?”
Eric’s head pounds. No. It’s not true. Ryan doesn’t love him.
Erica leans closer. “Talk to him. Or I will eat your balls for breakfast.”
He doesn’t doubt the truth of that.
~*~*~*~
Forgive and Forget
Is it really possible to forgive and forget? To consign something to the past and trust that it’ll never happen again?
Ryan doesn’t know.
It hurt so badly when he found Eric with Natalia, and again when he attempted to move on and try something with Erica. At least he knows one thing for sure. He’s not made to be with a woman. He’s a man’s man. That was such an appalling failure.
Eric apologised, sincerely and without reserve. He asked Ryan if he wanted to try again. He promised never to stray.
Ryan needs time to think about it.
~*~*~*~
Perfect Moments
Life is only ever perfect in moments.
Like this one, on the beach with Eric’s arms around him.
Ryan knows it won’t last, knows Eric will always have a wandering eye and they’ll part again. He doesn’t believe Eric’s promises, even if Eric does.
But now is enough, isn’t it? Why worry about the future when this moment is perfect? When the sun’s setting over the Miami skyline, Eric’s warm against him and he can feel a soft, sweet breath against his cheek. It’s just him and Eric.
Surely it’s possible to live just one perfect moment at a time?
~*~FIN~*~
Author - alligator138
Fandom - CSI:Miami
Pairing - Ryan/Eric
Rating - PG-13
Summary - Eric gets distracted from what he's got...
Disclaimer - They’re not mine. I mean no harm. I make no money.
Note - I posted all these on an advent calendar, but they're all over the place there, so here they are all together. :D
Breasts
Eric knows that he should break away from Natalia. But she’s there, always there with her smile and giggle... and breasts.
There’s no getting away from it. Eric likes breasts. He loves the size, shape, weight, softness, warmth, the way they feel against his skin.
Ryan’s not screwing around on him, he’s sure of that, and what they’ve built between them is so much better than what he experiences with Natalia, but when she smiles at him and his eyes drift down, he just can’t say no.
So it happens again, and his intentions to break away are forgotten again.
~*~*~*~
Snake
Ryan had no idea that there would turn out to be a snake in his Garden of Eden, one who would whisper temptation into the ear of his lover and steal his paradise away from him. But there she was, in his bed.
He sits on the sidewalk with his bags. One look was enough, one glimpse of that golden, entwined skin. He backed out, grabbing belongings randomly, stuffing them into the first bag he could find, ignoring pleas to slow down, listen, stay.
Eric said he was sorry.
Ryan didn’t believe him. Sorry doesn’t cut it. Not for this.
~*~*~*~
Monogamy
Eric rages. Men aren’t designed to be monogamous, he reasons. He’s not, anyway.
How is it possible to be with the same person forever without feeling the walls close in? How can anyone look at the same face every day without wanting to escape from the cage?
He felt trapped, that was why he did it. Ryan was being unreasonable when he walked out. Eric needs freedom. Ryan should have known that. He can’t let himself be hemmed in by convention, be shackled by monogamy.
He rages, but he knows that he’s wrong, even as he makes a new excuse.
~*~*~*~
Robot
Ryan thinks that he’s become a robot.
He gets up every morning in his new apartment, showers, eats and goes to work. He takes his assignments, does his work, responds to questions from the people around him as well as he can, goes home and eats again.
He feels nothing. He works hard at feeling nothing. Once the flood gates are opened, he’ll be lost, drowned in an ocean of sadness and betrayal.
He had something good, but it fell apart, so now he goes about his business mechanically, doing everything that’s expected of him but that one thing.
Feeling.
~*~*~*~
Not Hurting
If Ryan can do it, then so can Eric.
If Ryan doesn’t care, then nor does Eric.
Obviously, it meant nothing. How else could Ryan be walking around like everything’s normal? He does his work; he talks to people; he insists he’s okay. Alexx doesn’t believe him, but Eric does. Ryan’s face betrays no hint of emotion.
Eric’s emotions are at war. He curses his stupidity; he misses Ryan so badly it’s a physical pain.
But Ryan lets no emotion slip, and Eric won’t let Ryan know how screwed up he is.
If Ryan’s not hurt, then neither is he.
~*~*~*~
Lunacy
This is sheer lunacy.
Even in his drunken state, Ryan realises that, but he grins at Erica anyway and lets her pull him along the hallway to her apartment.
He’s never done this before - any of it.
He’s never gotten anyone drunk in order to get them into bed.
He’s never gotten even drunker to give himself courage.
And he’s never been with a woman before.
But Erica’s been flirting with him long enough, and he wants to know why. Why did Eric need a woman? Why wasn’t Ryan enough for him? What’s so irresistible about women?
This is insanity.
~*~*~*~
In Hiding
Eric stands in the shadows, unable to believe what he’s seeing. Ryan and Erica? He didn’t think Ryan was into women at all.
Ryan stumbles and grins goofily at Erica under the streetlights. She grins back like a shark and tows Ryan away to the parking lot.
Eric watches as they disappear round the corner and steps back further as the headlights of her SUV sweep into the street.
He’d been going to apologise, tell Ryan how much he missed him.
Fuck that! Ryan’s obviously not missing Eric.
He stalks across the street to the bar. He needs a drink.
~*~*~*~
Home Truths
“Nothing happened!”
He doesn’t believe her. He saw the look on Ryan’s face.
“How stupid are you, Delko? He wants you!”
He stares at his shoes, muttering.
Erica steps up to him and hisses. “Nothing happened. I got him home, we started... and... nothing happened.”
Eric looks snarkily into Erica’s eyes. “He’s gay. Didn’t you know?”
She looks back with equal fire. “He’s in love. Didn’t you know?”
Eric’s head pounds. No. It’s not true. Ryan doesn’t love him.
Erica leans closer. “Talk to him. Or I will eat your balls for breakfast.”
He doesn’t doubt the truth of that.
~*~*~*~
Forgive and Forget
Is it really possible to forgive and forget? To consign something to the past and trust that it’ll never happen again?
Ryan doesn’t know.
It hurt so badly when he found Eric with Natalia, and again when he attempted to move on and try something with Erica. At least he knows one thing for sure. He’s not made to be with a woman. He’s a man’s man. That was such an appalling failure.
Eric apologised, sincerely and without reserve. He asked Ryan if he wanted to try again. He promised never to stray.
Ryan needs time to think about it.
~*~*~*~
Perfect Moments
Life is only ever perfect in moments.
Like this one, on the beach with Eric’s arms around him.
Ryan knows it won’t last, knows Eric will always have a wandering eye and they’ll part again. He doesn’t believe Eric’s promises, even if Eric does.
But now is enough, isn’t it? Why worry about the future when this moment is perfect? When the sun’s setting over the Miami skyline, Eric’s warm against him and he can feel a soft, sweet breath against his cheek. It’s just him and Eric.
Surely it’s possible to live just one perfect moment at a time?
~*~FIN~*~