What a freakin night!
Wow. TONIGHT! Yea. Tonight I found out more than the average bear. I found out that this "best friend" that I have been talking about has definitely been lying to me about everything. He has been telling the other 'friends' of his that I want to be more than friends with him. I found out that everything that he has been saying to me has been a complete lie. I found out that he lies to me all of the time. I found out that everything that he and I have ever said to each other or done has been repeated or shown to other people and half has been reversed on me. I found out that its all his fault because this whole time all he has had to do was "snap his fingers" and everything would be okay. I found out that all of this hard work and effort that I have been putting into a friendship that doesn't even exist was not worth the while. I found out that even after all of the times he told me that he was going to tell the truth, he never did. I found out that he is conniving. I found out that he has a very unstable life considering he can't balance friendships even if one friend doesn't like the other. I found out that he tells those friends exactly what they want to hear and nothing is ever fair. I found out that all of those "I love you's" and that we are "best friends" was alllllll a big huge complete lie. And I know after tonight he really wont go tell the truth. I found out that he "thinks" I "try" too hard for something that wont be there... what they can't comprehend is I try for a friendship alone. Thats all. The only reason I tried was because he told me to. He told me to hold on and that everything would be okay. Soon. I held on because I believed and trusted in him. What a fool I am! I've never heard of someone honestly telling someone else to "just bring her in your room and cuss her out!" Wow, what a way to settle things!! Doesn't that right there tell you something? He even admitted that it wasn't smart to ask her for advice becuase he gets a biased answer. Yeah, well... so much for following his heart. His little friend said I was psycho because I 'rode by his house' ... bullcrap! I haven't ever done that. This weekend I rode through his neighborhood to get to a guy named Graydon's house. That doesn't consist of riding by his house at all. And we didnt! But you know, if you really want to say someone randomly rides by people's houses.. then maybe we can take into fact that he told me he knows exactly which house my grandparents live in because he rode by it one day with his mom. I didn't go off calling him psycho. I didn't give a crap. I was like, "cool". Since someone says I'm crazy for something I didnt even do this weekend, then take into consideration that my grandmothers house is WAY out of the way and isn't on the way to anything at all. Also, I am crazy because I have his mom's screen name that I "snuck off of her computer". OKAY! Yeah, lets look at this, too. I think Steve, Ashley, Zach and I were all standing in the kitchen when his mom said "You have to show me your debutante pictures" and I told her they were online, so we exchanged screen names. Oh, here again.. not to mention that he has talked to my mom online before. I didn't give him her screen name. He either 'snuck' it off of my computer or he 'figured it out' when I copied and pasted something funny she sent to me that he and I laughed about. I DIDNT copy the whole screen name though, just like her last three numbers. He had never even met my mom before and he talked to her online. I didn't go off telling everyone that he was psycho. Because I didn't care. HOW mature is my whole situation!?? Oh my gosh! If I were a true drama queen, then I would have been one in highschool becuase my highschool was soo small that there was drama everyday in every room... I somehow managed to stay out of it! So, I would have so been in it then if I were a true one. My point? I am not used to all of this craziness and I dont know what to do at all.
The end rests on a lie. Wow. How mature. Truth at last. I hope this wont effect other friends that we mutually have. I am sure he'll snap his fingers with those too.
Just comprehend this if you are reading: I don't like you more than a friend. I barely liked you last semester. I started around November. Then while we were home over break you were super to me because you didn't have the pressure of your friends that don't like me... (I quote that) and I fell for you. I am a sucker for sweet guys. About two days after we broke up I was over the fact that we dated and I was ready to rock out agian- as friends. You would say to me that you loved me still- you just had to work some things out, so I would be like yeah, me too. Guess what! I didn't mean it. I was so torn that we couldn't be friends that I agreed with everything you said just to not argue. I brought things up (when we did argue) just because you treated me like shit right before that. Yeah, you admitted you did that too. I am NOT taking the blame this time, I am NOT going to at all. You know good and well that you didn't tell your friends the whole truth and if you had, they would have respected our situations more rather than dogg them... You know good and well you tried to make me look bad. You know it. You know good and well what each of our arguments were about and you know good and well they were recently all only brought up because of something you did to intentionally hurt me. Any friend would discuss things like that with their friend because thats not the way they were supposed to be treated. You dug this hole. You get the easy way out though, don't worry. No more hard work. Drop one friend off and have no cares about it- keep going. Heaven forbid we have more than one best friend. COMPROMISE!! I am so tired of putting up with your immature acts of how you treat people and your negativity that I am so thankful that God does take people from us because I don't need you in my life. I am way better off without you dragging me down. Your actions show that you wanted this sooo bad.... guess what, you've got it!!!!
They say once you hear someone talk about another good friend you should be aware they are probably doing it to you, too. They are right. Very right!!!!
My trust wall is built WAY high... again!
What do you do when you are torn between friends? I dont know, I've never been in that situation or made anyone be in that situation. This really sucks! Really sucks monkey balls...
Wow- I'm SO glad about this though... because I have been told multiple times to end everything because he isn't worth the friendship. How true is that! I am so glad its over! FINALLY! I was soooooo scared to say anything to him in fear that it might be true that we will be friends again one day and I didnt want to pro-long it. I wanted all of this immature crap to be over... but I am so glad its this way, I'm way way way better off this way.
I'll be back to you with more thoughts! Loves! PRAYER, maybe? Please?
The end rests on a lie. Wow. How mature. Truth at last. I hope this wont effect other friends that we mutually have. I am sure he'll snap his fingers with those too.
Just comprehend this if you are reading: I don't like you more than a friend. I barely liked you last semester. I started around November. Then while we were home over break you were super to me because you didn't have the pressure of your friends that don't like me... (I quote that) and I fell for you. I am a sucker for sweet guys. About two days after we broke up I was over the fact that we dated and I was ready to rock out agian- as friends. You would say to me that you loved me still- you just had to work some things out, so I would be like yeah, me too. Guess what! I didn't mean it. I was so torn that we couldn't be friends that I agreed with everything you said just to not argue. I brought things up (when we did argue) just because you treated me like shit right before that. Yeah, you admitted you did that too. I am NOT taking the blame this time, I am NOT going to at all. You know good and well that you didn't tell your friends the whole truth and if you had, they would have respected our situations more rather than dogg them... You know good and well you tried to make me look bad. You know it. You know good and well what each of our arguments were about and you know good and well they were recently all only brought up because of something you did to intentionally hurt me. Any friend would discuss things like that with their friend because thats not the way they were supposed to be treated. You dug this hole. You get the easy way out though, don't worry. No more hard work. Drop one friend off and have no cares about it- keep going. Heaven forbid we have more than one best friend. COMPROMISE!! I am so tired of putting up with your immature acts of how you treat people and your negativity that I am so thankful that God does take people from us because I don't need you in my life. I am way better off without you dragging me down. Your actions show that you wanted this sooo bad.... guess what, you've got it!!!!
They say once you hear someone talk about another good friend you should be aware they are probably doing it to you, too. They are right. Very right!!!!
My trust wall is built WAY high... again!
What do you do when you are torn between friends? I dont know, I've never been in that situation or made anyone be in that situation. This really sucks! Really sucks monkey balls...
Wow- I'm SO glad about this though... because I have been told multiple times to end everything because he isn't worth the friendship. How true is that! I am so glad its over! FINALLY! I was soooooo scared to say anything to him in fear that it might be true that we will be friends again one day and I didnt want to pro-long it. I wanted all of this immature crap to be over... but I am so glad its this way, I'm way way way better off this way.
I'll be back to you with more thoughts! Loves! PRAYER, maybe? Please?