Fic: Reaping the Consequences
Title: Reaping the Consequences
Characters: Doctor, Donna, mentions of several others
Rating: PG - mentions of sex
Genre: fluff, crack, humour (?)
Spoilers: The Unicorn and the Wasp, some Season 2 episodes, some Season 3 episodes
Summary: Donna is reaping the consequences of her actions in the kitchen.
A/N: My first attempt at writing non-angst. I don't know what it's like and I haven't written in this genre before so feedback would be great.
Reaping the Consequences
Once the TARDIS was in the Vortex, Donna tapped the console, flashed the Doctor a grin, and turned to go out of the control room.
“Where’re you going?” the Doctor asked.
“To clean my teeth,” she replied, opening the door. The Doctor frowned, baffled, and followed her.
“Why?”
“Because I can still taste anchovies and it’s making me sick.”
“Oh, that’s not very good is it?”
“No, it’s bloody awful.”
“What, the anchovies or the kiss?” The Doctor suddenly looked stricken “The kiss wasn’t bad was it?”
“I’ve had better.” This did nothing to appease the Doctor’s insecurities.
“What was wrong with it?” he asked, trying not to sound too whiney.
“Anchovies and ginger beer - not exactly a winning combination is it?”
“So it was the taste? Not the actual kiss?”
“Surely the magnificent Doctor hasn’t got insecurities about his kissing technique?” Donna asked with a raised eyebrow. The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, looking flustered.
“No, um, I was just interested. It’s nice to have a bit of feedback.” Donna opened the bathroom door, and the Doctor trailed after her.
“Surely after nine hundred years you should have worked out whether you’re a good kisser or not.”
“Well I don’t tend to ask the people I kiss, I always have to run off somewhere.”
“Oh, so you’re a love ‘em and leave ‘em type of bloke, are you? Proper little Casanova.”
“Well actually…”
Donna shook her head.
“It wasn’t even a proper kiss, it was more of a ’Quick! He needs a shock!’-saving-your-life-kiss.” She frowned at him “Although, you did seem to get more into it than was strictly appropriate. Got a bit of tongue in there - don’t deny it.”
“I wasn’t going to,” the Doctor said, shrugging.
“You got any mouthwash?”
“Cupboard. Don’t you think you going a little over the top with this? I’m sure loads of people kiss after they’ve just eaten anchovies.”
“Well it was a first for me.”
“Think of it as a new experience.”
“Mmn.”
“Martha didn’t object to my kissing technique. Rose didn’t object to my kissing technique, although I suppose at the time she was being possessed by Cassandra so… Donna, what if I’m a rubbish kisser? I snogged Madame de Pompadour, what if she thought I was rubbish?”
Donna spat into the basin.
“You snogged Madame de Pompadour?” she asked incredulously “Yeah right.”
“I did!”
“Uh huh,” she replied, dabbing delicately at her mouth with the towel.
“I did, and she asked me to ‘dance’ with her.”
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to tell lies?”
“I’m not lying!”
“Right.”
“William Shakespeare also flirted with me.”
“If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable.”
“Queen Cleopatra! The lovely Cleo, she had a thing for me.”
“I’m sure she invited you for a threesome with her and Mark Anthony.”
“No need to be sordid about it.”
“That’s what you get for lying.”
“Alright then, Agatha Christie, you were there, she obviously secretly fancied me.”
“She’d just caught her husband with a younger woman, she was desperate. You were the only young-looking man there that wasn’t on the other bus.” She eyed him thoughtfully. “Although, exactly how far did this flirting with Shakespeare go?”
“Donna! Just because people find me attractive…”
“For some reason.”
“…it’s hardly my fault. I just happen to have a certain je ne sais quoi about me.”
“You’ve got an ego the size of a planet, that’s what you’ve got.”
“Right.”
“Right what?”
“I’ll prove it to you. We’re going to go and meet Cleo, and Shakespeare, and possibly Madame de Pompadour if I can manage to not completely mess up the timelines.”
“And what happens if you do mess up the timelines?”
“Oh, the Universe will implode or something like that.”
“You’d destroy the Universe to prove a point? You know, no wonder the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, you’d never fit your ego in otherwise.”
“Oh Donna. Give it a couple of months and you’ll soon succumb to my charms.”
“In your dreams, spaceman. You seem to have got over your kissing insecurities, though.”
“Yup. You really are marvellous, Donna, you know that? You’ve really helped. Thank you.” He waltzed out of the bathroom to set the coordinates for Ancient Egypt. Donna put the mouthwash back in the cupboard and slammed the door shut.
“Aliens,” she muttered to herself “One kiss and they think they’re bloody Casanova in Space.”
Characters: Doctor, Donna, mentions of several others
Rating: PG - mentions of sex
Genre: fluff, crack, humour (?)
Spoilers: The Unicorn and the Wasp, some Season 2 episodes, some Season 3 episodes
Summary: Donna is reaping the consequences of her actions in the kitchen.
A/N: My first attempt at writing non-angst. I don't know what it's like and I haven't written in this genre before so feedback would be great.
Reaping the Consequences
Once the TARDIS was in the Vortex, Donna tapped the console, flashed the Doctor a grin, and turned to go out of the control room.
“Where’re you going?” the Doctor asked.
“To clean my teeth,” she replied, opening the door. The Doctor frowned, baffled, and followed her.
“Why?”
“Because I can still taste anchovies and it’s making me sick.”
“Oh, that’s not very good is it?”
“No, it’s bloody awful.”
“What, the anchovies or the kiss?” The Doctor suddenly looked stricken “The kiss wasn’t bad was it?”
“I’ve had better.” This did nothing to appease the Doctor’s insecurities.
“What was wrong with it?” he asked, trying not to sound too whiney.
“Anchovies and ginger beer - not exactly a winning combination is it?”
“So it was the taste? Not the actual kiss?”
“Surely the magnificent Doctor hasn’t got insecurities about his kissing technique?” Donna asked with a raised eyebrow. The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, looking flustered.
“No, um, I was just interested. It’s nice to have a bit of feedback.” Donna opened the bathroom door, and the Doctor trailed after her.
“Surely after nine hundred years you should have worked out whether you’re a good kisser or not.”
“Well I don’t tend to ask the people I kiss, I always have to run off somewhere.”
“Oh, so you’re a love ‘em and leave ‘em type of bloke, are you? Proper little Casanova.”
“Well actually…”
Donna shook her head.
“It wasn’t even a proper kiss, it was more of a ’Quick! He needs a shock!’-saving-your-life-kiss.” She frowned at him “Although, you did seem to get more into it than was strictly appropriate. Got a bit of tongue in there - don’t deny it.”
“I wasn’t going to,” the Doctor said, shrugging.
“You got any mouthwash?”
“Cupboard. Don’t you think you going a little over the top with this? I’m sure loads of people kiss after they’ve just eaten anchovies.”
“Well it was a first for me.”
“Think of it as a new experience.”
“Mmn.”
“Martha didn’t object to my kissing technique. Rose didn’t object to my kissing technique, although I suppose at the time she was being possessed by Cassandra so… Donna, what if I’m a rubbish kisser? I snogged Madame de Pompadour, what if she thought I was rubbish?”
Donna spat into the basin.
“You snogged Madame de Pompadour?” she asked incredulously “Yeah right.”
“I did!”
“Uh huh,” she replied, dabbing delicately at her mouth with the towel.
“I did, and she asked me to ‘dance’ with her.”
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to tell lies?”
“I’m not lying!”
“Right.”
“William Shakespeare also flirted with me.”
“If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable.”
“Queen Cleopatra! The lovely Cleo, she had a thing for me.”
“I’m sure she invited you for a threesome with her and Mark Anthony.”
“No need to be sordid about it.”
“That’s what you get for lying.”
“Alright then, Agatha Christie, you were there, she obviously secretly fancied me.”
“She’d just caught her husband with a younger woman, she was desperate. You were the only young-looking man there that wasn’t on the other bus.” She eyed him thoughtfully. “Although, exactly how far did this flirting with Shakespeare go?”
“Donna! Just because people find me attractive…”
“For some reason.”
“…it’s hardly my fault. I just happen to have a certain je ne sais quoi about me.”
“You’ve got an ego the size of a planet, that’s what you’ve got.”
“Right.”
“Right what?”
“I’ll prove it to you. We’re going to go and meet Cleo, and Shakespeare, and possibly Madame de Pompadour if I can manage to not completely mess up the timelines.”
“And what happens if you do mess up the timelines?”
“Oh, the Universe will implode or something like that.”
“You’d destroy the Universe to prove a point? You know, no wonder the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, you’d never fit your ego in otherwise.”
“Oh Donna. Give it a couple of months and you’ll soon succumb to my charms.”
“In your dreams, spaceman. You seem to have got over your kissing insecurities, though.”
“Yup. You really are marvellous, Donna, you know that? You’ve really helped. Thank you.” He waltzed out of the bathroom to set the coordinates for Ancient Egypt. Donna put the mouthwash back in the cupboard and slammed the door shut.
“Aliens,” she muttered to herself “One kiss and they think they’re bloody Casanova in Space.”