Weird Dreams
I used to have very vivid dreams growing up, but these had some interesting aspects.
They would come true.
It wasn't that often, and I found that it happened to my mother all the time, so it didn't really bother me.
I never did anything about these, at least I only did once. When I was 16 I moved to California. That summer I came back to Colorado and saw a friend (female) that I used to walk home from school. We were talking under a tree near a rock by my old home and I was reminded of one I had of that same scenario. In the dream, we were there, I remembered wanting to kiss her and tell her how I felt, but didn't, and felt horrible about it. Back to the present, I decide that this time, I'll do something to change it, so I told her that I liked her and kissed her. It was cute. I had to go back to California, but we kept in touch via letters.. she had cute stickers she would put on them. You don't care much for them at the time, but looking back they hold a significance. I digress. Fast forward to X-mas time that year. I come out to visit. Her brother and mother are being a bit more mean then they usually are to her. I confront her brother on it eventually and he lets the cat out of the bag. She had cheated, had sex, got pregnant, and aborted in that time, and they were pissed at her for not letting me know, or breaking up at least... so yeah.. I learned two lessons, long distance relationships aren't a good idea, and don't try changing up these dreams.
I haven't had those dreams as often since, considerably actually.
.. I was never one to put much in stock of the interpreting dreams, but that's because mine were usually very realistic.. and some happened (they have explanations for these occurrances.. But I don't really need one... )
Again, Fast forward... a bit..
In anger my ex-girlfriend sent me a text that she didn't want to be with me anymore because I was irresponsible with my finances. I was and still am a little. I called and left messages, but I didn't get a reply. Eventually I just called and left goofy ones on there just to get her to call me back. I deserved at least a damn voice... we had problems, but she isn't one to bring up problems, at least not then. I she returns a call finally. This is about 1-2 weeks after the text she sent to me... we decide to have break up, at least for a while...
I made some attempts to contact since then, but it hadn't been returned. I didn't really want to push to far. I was pretty pissed off about the way she handled it for a good while. It still irks me, I thought she was better then that.
Now for where the theme plays in .. I have had nearly consistent dreams/nightmares since. Not of the normal variety, it would be many of the nice moments we had together, cuddled together with a bowl of ice cream, hiking along a trail with friends, just smelling her hair while I hugged her.. it was torture.. that is why I called them nightmares.
I had one two-three days ago. We were talking about where we went wrong, and she admits that she still loves me, not in the.. we'll always be friends way.. the real way, I try to tell her too but I just break down crying, and she holds me, and I wake up. This dream was like the old ones, and it hasn't ever happened before, like all of the flashback dreams..
I'm a problem solver. That's my nature. I love strategy games, fixing things, tutoring and teaching. It really is who I am. So I let my mind get to work. Over these several months I've reflected on where we both went wrong. They were small things that people do in relationships, but they added up. At a time when we are both going through some hardship.. well shit hits the fan. Her sister was in the hospital still with a blood clot in each lung and being watched closely.. my roommates had to make me stay home because after this time, Casey felt like a sister to me too.. god I'm so glad she's okay too... so yeah I digress again.
This is my inner turmoil
I am going to fix the problems that I had. I have fixed my financial problems and am working on a savings plan. I will have my passport application in next week, I do still want to travel. I am going to make myself a better man.
If I can't have the woman I love right now, I can always hold hope that there isn't just one true love.
I miss you Kelly
They would come true.
It wasn't that often, and I found that it happened to my mother all the time, so it didn't really bother me.
I never did anything about these, at least I only did once. When I was 16 I moved to California. That summer I came back to Colorado and saw a friend (female) that I used to walk home from school. We were talking under a tree near a rock by my old home and I was reminded of one I had of that same scenario. In the dream, we were there, I remembered wanting to kiss her and tell her how I felt, but didn't, and felt horrible about it. Back to the present, I decide that this time, I'll do something to change it, so I told her that I liked her and kissed her. It was cute. I had to go back to California, but we kept in touch via letters.. she had cute stickers she would put on them. You don't care much for them at the time, but looking back they hold a significance. I digress. Fast forward to X-mas time that year. I come out to visit. Her brother and mother are being a bit more mean then they usually are to her. I confront her brother on it eventually and he lets the cat out of the bag. She had cheated, had sex, got pregnant, and aborted in that time, and they were pissed at her for not letting me know, or breaking up at least... so yeah.. I learned two lessons, long distance relationships aren't a good idea, and don't try changing up these dreams.
I haven't had those dreams as often since, considerably actually.
.. I was never one to put much in stock of the interpreting dreams, but that's because mine were usually very realistic.. and some happened (they have explanations for these occurrances.. But I don't really need one... )
Again, Fast forward... a bit..
In anger my ex-girlfriend sent me a text that she didn't want to be with me anymore because I was irresponsible with my finances. I was and still am a little. I called and left messages, but I didn't get a reply. Eventually I just called and left goofy ones on there just to get her to call me back. I deserved at least a damn voice... we had problems, but she isn't one to bring up problems, at least not then. I she returns a call finally. This is about 1-2 weeks after the text she sent to me... we decide to have break up, at least for a while...
I made some attempts to contact since then, but it hadn't been returned. I didn't really want to push to far. I was pretty pissed off about the way she handled it for a good while. It still irks me, I thought she was better then that.
Now for where the theme plays in .. I have had nearly consistent dreams/nightmares since. Not of the normal variety, it would be many of the nice moments we had together, cuddled together with a bowl of ice cream, hiking along a trail with friends, just smelling her hair while I hugged her.. it was torture.. that is why I called them nightmares.
I had one two-three days ago. We were talking about where we went wrong, and she admits that she still loves me, not in the.. we'll always be friends way.. the real way, I try to tell her too but I just break down crying, and she holds me, and I wake up. This dream was like the old ones, and it hasn't ever happened before, like all of the flashback dreams..
I'm a problem solver. That's my nature. I love strategy games, fixing things, tutoring and teaching. It really is who I am. So I let my mind get to work. Over these several months I've reflected on where we both went wrong. They were small things that people do in relationships, but they added up. At a time when we are both going through some hardship.. well shit hits the fan. Her sister was in the hospital still with a blood clot in each lung and being watched closely.. my roommates had to make me stay home because after this time, Casey felt like a sister to me too.. god I'm so glad she's okay too... so yeah I digress again.
This is my inner turmoil
I am going to fix the problems that I had. I have fixed my financial problems and am working on a savings plan. I will have my passport application in next week, I do still want to travel. I am going to make myself a better man.
If I can't have the woman I love right now, I can always hold hope that there isn't just one true love.
I miss you Kelly