December now, the cold and the lightning
Dear Blog,
I love you. I neglect you. I'm sorry.
It's like with plants. Like that streptocarpella Sally Tibbetts gave me. I forget to water it until I remember to water it, and then I leave it in the bathtub to drip in peace, and then I find it in the bathtub (this morning) and think, "Has it been in the dark bathtub this whole time, poor thing?" and take it back to the sunlight of my study window.
It is December 4th. I turn 33 on December 12th. Surely I will remember to water the streptocarpella when I am 33?
33 is the YEAR OF THE ROCKSTAR, I've decided. I am going to be a rockstar. Things are changing, things are moving really fast, and my brain is very full, but Amal says I ride the lightning, and I say it's about time a gal called the lightning her broomstick and swept the storms where she wanted them to go. It's not always like that. But maybe this year will be like that.
I want things. I want to be an audiobook narrator. Why? Well, because I'm jealous that Rose Daniels in Stephen King's Rose Madder can be an audiobook narrator, and she's just a piece of FICTION with no TRAINING, while meanwhile in the REAL WORLD I'm in a booth selling tickets. It's not that I don't like my job. I like my job. But it's not the job I invested $40,000 and three years of my life to do. And being a professional audiobook narrator, even part time, OR EVEN if it's only for my own stuff through Amazon ACX, would put me to use. The best parts of me. The thoroughly trained, passionate, interested parts of me. I want to be of use.
Uncanny Magazine asked me to be one of their narrators. So did another editor. BOTH FOR PAY! Also, also, I JUST SENT an audition demo to this cool audiobook company that's fairly local. WHO KNOWS? If they want me, I will BUST MY BOOTY for them.
My audition for Dangerous Liaisons is set for the 15th. Best not to speak of that. Best just to hush. Oh, but I want, I want, I WANT...
Anyway, if I don't get what I want, at least I'll be BUSY!
I have been going back and forth with Mike Allen, editing my novella collection "Bone Swans" for next year's release. IT'S GONNA BE SO PRETTY! Wait till you see the cover. Drool, baby, drool. And it will include, at last, the NEVER BEFORE PUBLISHED "Bone Swans of Amandale" which is singularly the most OUTRAGEOUS and HILARIOUS thing I've ever written. Though it is, ahem, dark. Dark, dark, darketty dark.
In the meantime, I must get cracking on finishing Dark Breakers, Book 2: The Two Paupers for a December release. And I must get cracking on getting that COVER finished! Or getting someone to get that cover finished. One way or the other, I NEED A COVER!
OH! Oh, and almost my most FAVORITE thing that COULD VERY WELL BE HAPPENING is that...
Okay, so some of you may recall BRIMSTONE RHINE? My alternate personality who's a rockstar? Who kept writing LYRICS just for fun and fakes? As if they were pretend albums?
Well.
Westerly is just BRIMMING with musicians, see. And I think I've found mine. Someone who plays ALL THE INSTRUMENTS, has his own home recording studio, knows ALL THE MUSICIANS, and has released several albums already. We'll be working together through the winter to put together Alecto! Alecto! and The Headless Bride. I'll crowdfund for it come March. I am FALLING OVER with excitement. It may just be a one-off, one-time, let's just see if we can DO IT deal. Or I may keep writing songs, just 'cause. And if I can put out two EPs, why, I might do GREATER THINGS YET, no?
Oui.
Also I must do MAJOR REVISIONS on Miscellaneous Stones: Assassin, as per the strong suggestion of An Agent. Not My Agent. Not Yet. Not unless I do the Revisions, and the Agent finds them Pleasing. But IF! If, oh, IF! And if not, the ideas I have for the revisions will only HELP the MS, and I could always, you know, SELF-PUBLISH. But I do not think it will come to that.
My brain is very full and happy. My body is restless and wants to run. I'm even running a little. Microbursts on my walks, but every day I walk, I seem to do more of them. I take many walks.
I am trying to remember all my friends. I am trying to reach out to them more, now that I'm only working one or two days a week. I'm trying to celebrate them in whatever way I can. Life seems very urgent right now. Life is hot glass. It will harden and slow and be fragile in a while, but right now, the smell inside my skull is that particular sear of molten glass, and the color behind my eyes is heat, is glow.
Boys are still beautiful and impossible. How lovely they are, and how much I like to be near them. I'd like to say I only like the ones who can KEEP UP, but the truth is, I like the ones who outpace me even MORE, who pass me by and flash a grin and disappear into the horizon on quests of their own.
In the meantime, if I can't be with the ones I love, I'll love the ones who think of me from time to time on their travels.
And... If I don't get what I want, at least I'll be BUSY!
Have I said that before? I am equal parts collision and sublimation. What else is there? Other people do it differently, but I am what I am.
Farewell for now. I will try to be more consistent with this.
And not kill my houseplants.
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