FEED YOUR FACE! (Which Rhymes, Gratifyingly, with NICOLE KORNHER-STACE!)
HI, HI, HI! Excuse me, everyone, HALLO!
I just wanted to take a moment here to talk about FEED YOUR FACE, Nicole Kornher-Stace's ETSY shop for her VEGAN CARAMELS.
I wrote a poem about her caramels once, in the style of OGDEN NASH (see below), because I couldn't help it, they were JUST THAT GOOD.
And I wanted to signal boost her, because if you happen to be going to READERCON this year, and you don't want to pay shipping fees, she will BRING YOUR ORDER RIGHT TO YOU!
Also, even if you AREN'T going to Readercon, you should REALLY REALLY KNOW about FEED YOUR FACE!
She's trying to replace her car, and could really use the orders right now!
Birthdays? Anniversaries? Something nice for yourself? Just 'cause? THIS IS THE WEBSITE FOR YOU!!! I get them for gifts. And then I get some more for myself. And then I get them for gifts but keep them for myself. It's a vicious cycle.
Nicole says:
If
a.) you'd like to place an order from my Etsy shop
but
b.) hate paying shipping,
&
c.) will be at Readercon,
I can make 'em and hand 'em to you there for no shipping cost.
Just let me know in advance what you want and I'll make up a custom preorder without the shipping.
(Same goes for WFC this November. Same goes for anyone I see in person in real life.)
Thanks! Still looking to replace the car, so I really appreciate every order.
***
Nicole Kornher-Stace's
Dark Chocolate Salted Caramels.
And Venice.
In the style of Ogden Nash.
(best if read aloud)
BY
C.S.E. COONEY
I often time-travel back to fair Venetia
Round about the Rinascimento
And as proof of my adventure, I tend to pocket
Some doodad or token or memento
So, on the festival of St. Stephen's Day
I meet this classy courtesan named Francesca
Who wines and dines me in great style
With dishes of olives and fresh bread and puttanesca
She crowns the whole affair with dessert
Served in a silver bowl or salver
A heap of dark chocolate salted caramels
Over which we salivate and palaver
And though we mostly gobble up the lot
I save the last morsel, wrap it up in paper and purloin it
As evidence that, indeed, I do hobnob through the ages
Feasting on delicacies and chatting with Doges and in general enjoying it
But when I come back to the 21st century,
And unwrap my caramel with the object of comparing it
To Nicole Kornher-Stace's own burnt sugar creations
I realize that, alas, there is no bearing it!
For 'though Serenissima, City of Palaces
Can boast merchant princes and kings of the maritime
Even its most delicious desserts cannot begin to compare
With Nicole Kornher-Staces dark chocolate salted caramels which are, if you'll pardon my saying, TRULY SUBLIME!