Don't get me wrong. 31 has been great. My Year of Shakespeare. One comedy, one tragedy. One play to span late spring and early summer. One to urge me bloody-handed into fall
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AHA! So you're a December baby? That makes you a fellow fire sign. Explains a lot. All my best friends throughout life have been April, August and December babies. I do say "phooie" to 98% of astrology but the elemental stuff? It just keeps proving true for me!
I feel like a massive outsider in theatre and Flock is no exception. Not because they haven't been welcoming (they have been NOTHING BUT!)...There aren't too many of us 30 somethings and out of the ones that are, I am the only one with children. In fact, the only other Flockstar I can think of who has kids is our Banquo.
I understand the balance struggle. I fight for it, too. Trying to figure out how to live for myself and my children at the same time...it's hard. I feel guilty being away from home so many nights for rehearsals but I know how abysmally depressed I'd be if I didn't go--and that would take me even further away. I am a better mother when my life extends beyond my own doorstep. But I do agonize over going to grad school. When will it happen? How will I manage it? All my friends from college are all M.A.ed and PhDed up now and there is a part of me that is insanely jealous. And, of course, those same friends tell me how much they want what I have...because we're 21st century women trying to figure out how to have 'it all,' because Betty and Gloria and Simone and bell and Judith and Naomi and Andrea and Katherine and all the other feminist writers we read as students told us we CAN indeed reproduce and have careers and I want to believe it until I stop and think how many of those women I just named are childless. How many of my professors were childless? That's when I start to worry...
I feel like a massive outsider in theatre and Flock is no exception. Not because they haven't been welcoming (they have been NOTHING BUT!)...There aren't too many of us 30 somethings and out of the ones that are, I am the only one with children. In fact, the only other Flockstar I can think of who has kids is our Banquo.
I understand the balance struggle. I fight for it, too. Trying to figure out how to live for myself and my children at the same time...it's hard. I feel guilty being away from home so many nights for rehearsals but I know how abysmally depressed I'd be if I didn't go--and that would take me even further away. I am a better mother when my life extends beyond my own doorstep. But I do agonize over going to grad school. When will it happen? How will I manage it? All my friends from college are all M.A.ed and PhDed up now and there is a part of me that is insanely jealous. And, of course, those same friends tell me how much they want what I have...because we're 21st century women trying to figure out how to have 'it all,' because Betty and Gloria and Simone and bell and Judith and Naomi and Andrea and Katherine and all the other feminist writers we read as students told us we CAN indeed reproduce and have careers and I want to believe it until I stop and think how many of those women I just named are childless. How many of my professors were childless? That's when I start to worry...
wow, talk about tangents...
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