Nicole Kornher-Stace's Dark Chocolate Salted Caramels. Venice. Ogden Nash.
I think that everyone who's tasted Nicole Kornher-Stace's caramels should write poems in their honor.
In fact, I challenge mariness to write a rhyme for the GINGER CRACK CARAMELS, of which she's already waxed so eloquent on her own journal two days ago.
Am trying to convince Nicole to POST our commentary with pictures of the caramels!
Of course, Nicole tells me she has to find a way of photographing them to make them look less like cat poo. I think she said cat poo? It doesn't look right when I type it. CAT POO.
I suggested she lay them out on velvet, with rhinestones (in my opinion, what can't be improved with velvet and rhinestones?), but she said it would only make them look like cat poo in a bordello.
THERE IS NO ARGUING WITH SUCH WIT!
Nicole emailed me, not without a certain grim anticipation, a URL for a hurricane tracker. An irascible elemental named "Katia" seems to be intent on a visit to the eastern seaboard. Probably Nicole will try to placate her with offerings of caramels. Perhaps effigies. Perhaps even HUMAN SACRIFICE. It's hard to say. Nicole is a doughty sparrowhawk. Very practical in an apocalypse. She also lives in upstate New York, which we all know is cannibal country.
But here is my contribution to the ditty idea... And if I hadn't EATEN all my caramels, I should take a picture of them, all picturesque in their little tea-box packaging... to put up with my poem. Along with RHINESTONES. And VELVET!
Perhaps in the style of Ogden Nash? Sort of?
DARK CHOCOLATE SALTED CARAMELS
I often time-travel back to fair Venetia
Round about the Rinascimento
And as proof of my adventure, I tend to pocket
Some doodad or token or memento
So, on the festival of St. Stephen's Day
I meet this classy courtesan named Francesca
Who wines and dines me in great style
With dishes of olives and fresh bread and puttanesca
She crowns the whole affair with dessert
Served in a silver bowl or salver
A heap of dark chocolate salted caramels
Over which we salivate and palaver
And though we mostly gobble up the lot
I save the last morsel, wrap it up in paper and purloin it
As evidence that, indeed, I do hobnob through the ages
Feasting on delicacies and chatting with Doges and in general enjoying it
But when I come back to the 21st century,
And unwrap my caramel with the object of comparing it
To Nicole Kornher-Stace's own burnt sugar creations
I realize that, alas, there is no bearing it!
For 'though Serenissima, City of Palaces
Can boast merchant princes and kings of the maritime
Even its most delicious desserts cannot begin to compare
With Nicole Kornher-Staces dark chocolate salted caramels which are, if you'll pardon my saying, TRULY SUBLIME!
***
So... You know...
BUY SOME!
***
In fact, I challenge mariness to write a rhyme for the GINGER CRACK CARAMELS, of which she's already waxed so eloquent on her own journal two days ago.
Am trying to convince Nicole to POST our commentary with pictures of the caramels!
Of course, Nicole tells me she has to find a way of photographing them to make them look less like cat poo. I think she said cat poo? It doesn't look right when I type it. CAT POO.
I suggested she lay them out on velvet, with rhinestones (in my opinion, what can't be improved with velvet and rhinestones?), but she said it would only make them look like cat poo in a bordello.
THERE IS NO ARGUING WITH SUCH WIT!
Nicole emailed me, not without a certain grim anticipation, a URL for a hurricane tracker. An irascible elemental named "Katia" seems to be intent on a visit to the eastern seaboard. Probably Nicole will try to placate her with offerings of caramels. Perhaps effigies. Perhaps even HUMAN SACRIFICE. It's hard to say. Nicole is a doughty sparrowhawk. Very practical in an apocalypse. She also lives in upstate New York, which we all know is cannibal country.
But here is my contribution to the ditty idea... And if I hadn't EATEN all my caramels, I should take a picture of them, all picturesque in their little tea-box packaging... to put up with my poem. Along with RHINESTONES. And VELVET!
Perhaps in the style of Ogden Nash? Sort of?
DARK CHOCOLATE SALTED CARAMELS
I often time-travel back to fair Venetia
Round about the Rinascimento
And as proof of my adventure, I tend to pocket
Some doodad or token or memento
So, on the festival of St. Stephen's Day
I meet this classy courtesan named Francesca
Who wines and dines me in great style
With dishes of olives and fresh bread and puttanesca
She crowns the whole affair with dessert
Served in a silver bowl or salver
A heap of dark chocolate salted caramels
Over which we salivate and palaver
And though we mostly gobble up the lot
I save the last morsel, wrap it up in paper and purloin it
As evidence that, indeed, I do hobnob through the ages
Feasting on delicacies and chatting with Doges and in general enjoying it
But when I come back to the 21st century,
And unwrap my caramel with the object of comparing it
To Nicole Kornher-Stace's own burnt sugar creations
I realize that, alas, there is no bearing it!
For 'though Serenissima, City of Palaces
Can boast merchant princes and kings of the maritime
Even its most delicious desserts cannot begin to compare
With Nicole Kornher-Staces dark chocolate salted caramels which are, if you'll pardon my saying, TRULY SUBLIME!
***
So... You know...
BUY SOME!
***