(no subject)
Jen, I hope my getting around to calling you isn't making you think I am a horrible person. I really do want to get together, I honestly just don't have a freaking clue when or how.
Apparently, not being on top of things in my current stressful situation makes me a horrible person that treats everyone like shit. Apparently wanting a little help and time to myself makes me a horrible person that has no time fore anyone else. Everything I say is going to be twisted around, misinterpreted, and completely fucked up.
I'm tired, I'm really cranky because I am tired and no matter what, I keep going doing as much as is physically and mentally possible because it is what needs to be done. And all this makes me a horrible person.
Maybe I am not the nicest person to be around at the moment, but I would think people could be a little understanding about not responding to things and not having time to go do things. My entire weekends are spent cleaning my house so that it will be minimally livable for another week. When am I supposed to get out and do things again?
I feel like talking to people doesn't do anything. You can talk in circles and get no where and no one is going to change their mind.
I have given up. I have asked for help, I have been turned down and I give up relying on people. I can't expect help from the people in my life. And that's ok. I can do it myself as long as I know I have to do it myself. I can work with being tired if I know I am going to be tired. I may not be the nicest person at 9 at night, but people are just going to have to deal with it.
Apparently, not being on top of things in my current stressful situation makes me a horrible person that treats everyone like shit. Apparently wanting a little help and time to myself makes me a horrible person that has no time fore anyone else. Everything I say is going to be twisted around, misinterpreted, and completely fucked up.
I'm tired, I'm really cranky because I am tired and no matter what, I keep going doing as much as is physically and mentally possible because it is what needs to be done. And all this makes me a horrible person.
Maybe I am not the nicest person to be around at the moment, but I would think people could be a little understanding about not responding to things and not having time to go do things. My entire weekends are spent cleaning my house so that it will be minimally livable for another week. When am I supposed to get out and do things again?
I feel like talking to people doesn't do anything. You can talk in circles and get no where and no one is going to change their mind.
I have given up. I have asked for help, I have been turned down and I give up relying on people. I can't expect help from the people in my life. And that's ok. I can do it myself as long as I know I have to do it myself. I can work with being tired if I know I am going to be tired. I may not be the nicest person at 9 at night, but people are just going to have to deal with it.