Such is life.

[crzymeg]

A new month. A new aspect on life. A new beginning I guess. The only thing I do is go to work and go to school. But somehow, it's not that it's better than high school. It's different because it's college and I'm actually working for something...for a career. On my free time, since I have a little, but definitely not a lot, I want to really continue practicing guitar and doing pottery. I am so confused with what I want to do with my life. I want to be a detective, but I want to be a journalist. I listed the pros and cons of becoming either of those. The thing that got me really thinking was this: journalism is such a competitive field and writing for the St. Pete Times will not financially support a family; being a detective comes with a lot of benefits and life training for keeping the ones I love safe. And, SPC doesn't offer a Bachelor's degree in journalism. So, *screams on the inside*. I told my mom I want to become a detective, and she trying to get me to change my mind and become a corporate lawyer. I don't want to be a fucking lawyer. Whatever I do seems to never satisfy my parents, ever. It's my life dammit, and all I want is some fucking support. I contacted a university in Ft. Lauderdale, I think I just wanna get away. Or, I wish I had someone to talk to.

Lately I've just been chilling. Nothing too exciting. I work out when I can. My personal trainer has gotton me in really good shape, I'm a lot stronger. I went down a belt loop. I still think I'm fat. My favorite meal lately is an apple with some peanut butter. In fact, I had that for lunch today and had it yesterday for breakfast. I'll be happier if I'm skinnier.

I don't know what I want right now. My room is a mess. My parents keep bugging me about stupid shit. People keep letting me down.

Such is life I guess.