Checkmate...whats your next move?
I was thinking today after class about how sad I will be when it is over. Though I thought I would hate having to take a summer class (and some days I do) I would say that overall its been pretty cool. Its a nice break in the monotony from which my summers full of all work and no play tend to suffer. I like taking marta, and I like walking around downtown. I even like walking through the beggars. It makes me very uncomfortable, but I like that. Its very humbling. I am uncomfortable because I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I live in a big house, with a computer and a cell phone, air conditioning - the "perfect" suburban life. Sure, some of those people never tried to make it. But I refuse to believe that they all deserve to be there. Nobody ever dreams about living on the streets, begging for money. When I was younger I was under the impression (where I got this, I don't know) that the people begging on the streets weren't really that poor. That they just did it to make more money. As I get older though I realize that even if they aren't so poor as they may make themselves out to be, a person has to swallow a lot of pride in order to beg for money. Their condition, whatever it is, is bad enough.
The other thing I was thinking today in realizing how much I would miss my class when it was over is how very much I enjoy learning. I love being fascinated by a new fact, and whats more is I love being able to share my new information with someone else. When I think about it too much, learning becomes a sort of foreign concept to me. Why do we value it so much? I suppose because rational thought is that which so distinguishes from the rest of the living world. However, when I die, I don't really think I will be any better then anyone else. Society is strange, human life is strange. Regardless of that, I know one thing for certain - I want to keep learning forever. If I could be a full time student for the rest of my life, I would. Not because I want to escape the real world, or really even put it off. Not because I love college so much, or because I don't want to ever have responsibilities. But rather, because I truly enjoy knowing and learning as much as I possibly can. I dont care how nerdy that sounds, or how nerdy it makes me - it is 100% truth. And I suppose that is one of the many reasons I want to teach. In a way, by teaching, I will never stop learning. Many people don't understand that, but those who have ever tutored someone should. Having to teach a concept requires a far deeper understanding then being taught or even tested on it. It requires knowing why something is possible, and being able to answer any question that some curious student may ask (even if they are a little off topic). I want to be the teacher that is able to say I don't know in response to a question far beyond what I have studied, because I will be the teacher that looks it up in order to come back the next day and be able to answer it. There is something incredibly powerful about knowledge. In my opinion it far exceeds even the most absurd amount of money, and the highest of positions.
I cannot wait to hold our future in my hands.