How exactly can you make a three edged sword?
I just finished senior letters. They were difficult - to the few of you who got them, I am sorry they are short. I had an incredibly difficult time finding the right words, or finding any words at all for that matter. Eh, whatever.
So, now its 2am and I am still awake. Sleep doesn't come so easily these days. I've spent pretty much from Wednesday until now sleeping on couches, rather then my bed. I used to like being downstairs by myself, but lately its just spooky. Night is my worst enemy. Instead I will sit on the computer until I am so tired I have no opportunity to think before falling asleep. I hate that I fear death so much. Anything but death, why death? Its the one fear I can't escape, it is inevitable, it haunts me. I lay in my bed and the more I try not to think about it, the worse it gets. I suddenly become hot, my heart speeds up, my breath shortens. It becomes a vicious cycle until I get up and retreat to the couch upstairs, turn on the TV and eventually drift off to dreamland.
Other then the lack of sleep, this week hasn't been so bad. Only wound up having jury duty one day, which was pretty sweet. I spent the week hanging out, apartment hunting, and moving out. The search for apartments is looking much better. Supposed to go look at more tomorrow. This week I start training for my new job. I am excited. I really love waiting tables. It should be a nice change of pace from Roadkill Grill. I've started running, it sucks but it'll pay off.
Alright, I'm going to go try to read myself to sleep. Its going to be an early morning. Love you all
So, now its 2am and I am still awake. Sleep doesn't come so easily these days. I've spent pretty much from Wednesday until now sleeping on couches, rather then my bed. I used to like being downstairs by myself, but lately its just spooky. Night is my worst enemy. Instead I will sit on the computer until I am so tired I have no opportunity to think before falling asleep. I hate that I fear death so much. Anything but death, why death? Its the one fear I can't escape, it is inevitable, it haunts me. I lay in my bed and the more I try not to think about it, the worse it gets. I suddenly become hot, my heart speeds up, my breath shortens. It becomes a vicious cycle until I get up and retreat to the couch upstairs, turn on the TV and eventually drift off to dreamland.
Other then the lack of sleep, this week hasn't been so bad. Only wound up having jury duty one day, which was pretty sweet. I spent the week hanging out, apartment hunting, and moving out. The search for apartments is looking much better. Supposed to go look at more tomorrow. This week I start training for my new job. I am excited. I really love waiting tables. It should be a nice change of pace from Roadkill Grill. I've started running, it sucks but it'll pay off.
Alright, I'm going to go try to read myself to sleep. Its going to be an early morning. Love you all