i want my sexy back.

[crzybeautttiful]

i'm starting this diet journal anonymously because i don't want any of my friends or family trying to stop me from losing the weight i want to. i've requested to join a couple of dieting communities and hopefully i'll get accepted into them for support. first i will tell you a little bit about myself-i'm a 19 year old girl who is a sophomore in college. i'm 5'3" and i weigh about 120 lbs and would like to weigh about 102-105. i have gotten down to about 108 before. my short term goal weight is 110 and my long term is 102-105 (or whenever i feel satisfied with the way i look) i have been bulimic since i was 14 and would really like to cut out the binging and purging all together. i went to a rehab center last summer and would probably now be diagnosed as ed-nos due to the face that i typically only purge 1-2 times a week (when i hit rock bottom i was purging 4-5 times a day). i want to feel in control of myself and sexy again. i'm tired of feeling like a slob. i live and work in enviornments where i am surrounded by beautiful, thin women. i want to feel like i can hold my own and be one of them. however, i also understand that there are more important things in life than being thin (sorry, but it's true) such as school and most importantly- relationships with family and friends. i hate when dieting begins to interfere with these things. i guess my point is i'm not willing to do anything to be thin. i have gone weeks with eating very very little before and find that with the right food combinations you can still feel energized and satisfied. i'm looking for any suggestions anyone might have. i'm looking for ways to lose the weight i want to quickly and be able to keep it off. i'm looking for support and friends :-)

i'll update every day and i'm going to weigh myself one week from tomorrow.