You don't have to read it if you don't want to...just need to get some things off my chest.
So I called my mom today and told her about Jimmy. I don't know if she had a problem with it....but I don't think she was exactly thrilled. Our conversation went something like this.....
"hey mom, whats up?"
*I'm learning espanol*
"oh yeah? I know a chico that speaks espanol real well"
*oh yeah?*
"yeah he's Mexican"
*who is he?*
"this boy Jimmy that I been hanging out with"
*oh so that's who your new boyfriend is?*
"huh? we're not technically dating yet...did granny tell you about him?"
*yeah I guess*
"what do you mean you guess?"
*so how old is he?*
"uhhh....24"
*JENNY!!*
"what? granny met him, she likes him, he's very sweet to me..."
*yeah but granny doesn't know he's 24 does she?*
"yeah she does and so does Karen"
*and she's letting you date him?*
"yeah, she met him, she likes him"
*I wouldn't let you date him*
"mom, I told you we aren't 'dating' yet*
*ok, but that's a big difference*
"I know mom, but how much older than Stephan are you?"
*that's different, I wasn't 18*
"I know it's different but still, I like him"
yada yada yada blah blah blah....I don't remember what else was said because I got off the phone with her shortly after that. I don't think she's very happy with the me and Jimmy situation....but whatever.
Dave, from what I hear, is not very happy. And I understand that and I think maybe he feels like I let him down or something but he has to understand that what I did really didn't have anything to do with him, I'm just trying to look out for myself here. It's just that I'm tired of waiting and waiting to be with him when I honestly don't think it is going to happen because there is absolutely no way I can move back down there. And I'm not happy without him, it makes me sad, and I'm tired of being sad. And then I met Jimmy and I kinda like him and I can't help it if I like him cause it's not like you can choose something like that, you can't choose who you do and don't like it, it just happens, it's just in your heart. And I can't make everybody happy all the time, I have to make myself happy sometimes too, and if that means being a little selfish then that's just what's gonna have to happen and I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I'm tired of waiting around to be with someone I'm not gonna be able to be with and if I think I might be happier with somebody else and the opportunity presents itself, then I am going to take it. I am just following my heart here and I think that I might actually be happy with Jimmy, so as I said before, I'm just going to take things day by day and see where that leads to. The end. I'm done. I got that off my chest, I feel better.
Alexis....I'll make it happen when I'm ready to, just give it time.
"hey mom, whats up?"
*I'm learning espanol*
"oh yeah? I know a chico that speaks espanol real well"
*oh yeah?*
"yeah he's Mexican"
*who is he?*
"this boy Jimmy that I been hanging out with"
*oh so that's who your new boyfriend is?*
"huh? we're not technically dating yet...did granny tell you about him?"
*yeah I guess*
"what do you mean you guess?"
*so how old is he?*
"uhhh....24"
*JENNY!!*
"what? granny met him, she likes him, he's very sweet to me..."
*yeah but granny doesn't know he's 24 does she?*
"yeah she does and so does Karen"
*and she's letting you date him?*
"yeah, she met him, she likes him"
*I wouldn't let you date him*
"mom, I told you we aren't 'dating' yet*
*ok, but that's a big difference*
"I know mom, but how much older than Stephan are you?"
*that's different, I wasn't 18*
"I know it's different but still, I like him"
yada yada yada blah blah blah....I don't remember what else was said because I got off the phone with her shortly after that. I don't think she's very happy with the me and Jimmy situation....but whatever.
Dave, from what I hear, is not very happy. And I understand that and I think maybe he feels like I let him down or something but he has to understand that what I did really didn't have anything to do with him, I'm just trying to look out for myself here. It's just that I'm tired of waiting and waiting to be with him when I honestly don't think it is going to happen because there is absolutely no way I can move back down there. And I'm not happy without him, it makes me sad, and I'm tired of being sad. And then I met Jimmy and I kinda like him and I can't help it if I like him cause it's not like you can choose something like that, you can't choose who you do and don't like it, it just happens, it's just in your heart. And I can't make everybody happy all the time, I have to make myself happy sometimes too, and if that means being a little selfish then that's just what's gonna have to happen and I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I'm tired of waiting around to be with someone I'm not gonna be able to be with and if I think I might be happier with somebody else and the opportunity presents itself, then I am going to take it. I am just following my heart here and I think that I might actually be happy with Jimmy, so as I said before, I'm just going to take things day by day and see where that leads to. The end. I'm done. I got that off my chest, I feel better.
Alexis....I'll make it happen when I'm ready to, just give it time.