Fic: Things I Never Wished to Know (Arthur/Eames)

[crytam]

Title: Things I Never Wished to Know
Fandom: Inception
Warnings: Slash... and several inappropriate comments? And like three lines sound like bad porn. 
Genre: Humor
Summary: For this prompt at inception_kink: Cobb is horrified to learn Arthur and Eames don't use condoms.

Comments

[anonymous]

OH MY GOD. THIS IS AMAZING.

"Cobb stares forlornly after him, wondering where the kid who liked to play neopets when he thought no one was watching went."

I WAS HOWLING. LITERALLY HOWLING.

OH, AND EAMES WITH HIS TOO-BIG-FOR-CONDOMS PENIS... AMAZING. THAT IS ALL. AMAZING.

Poor Cobb, having to walk in on such nasty shenanigans!

[crytam]

;) Haha, somehow, I've always imagined Arthur to be the type to be totally serious while playing Neopets. His pets are in perfect condition, at the end of the day he has a perfect # of neopoints in the bank (has to be ___ billion, with the ____ being an integer), and he has a 100.00% battledome average. Oh no, I feel a semi-sequel coming on!

Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed the fic!

[lost_in_the_zoo]

OMFG. why is this so hot but hilarious at the same time? I love how you described them to have rough sex xD It was awesome. Plus the whole "can't find condoms to fit me" just had me laughing.

This is awesome. Would love a sequel.
x
<33

[crytam]

Thank you! They've always been the type to have rough sex to me. Underneath all that gel and fabric, Arthur's really a total animal. Glad you liked the condom bit. I compromised my access to the computer by searching up condom sizes >x<

Hehe, a sequel might appear someday, maybe after college apps...

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed =)

[anonymous]

"wondering where the kid who liked to play neopets when he thought no one was watching went. "

haha, that line is awesome, I can't stop grinning when I think of it. Also I love your fathery Cobb worried about Arthur:)

~C~

[crytam]

Thank you! My many days of playing neopets under the covers in my room have influenced this... =) Arthur is trying to beat neopets at its own game. His plan is to discover just how many neopoints one can put into the bank until the neopets team suspects you of cheating.

[sin_fuego]

It has smiley faces on it, all over the place, and each smile is like a mocking laugh in the face of Cobb's shattered innocence.

Oh, Cobb, I shouldn't find this so funny but I do! This is a great mix of hot and hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed.

[crytam]

;) Thank you darling! One can only imagine how it'll be when Cobb walks in on Phillipa or James on their respective wedding nights, right?

I'm glad you liked it!

[crytam]

Thank you! I was a little nervous I couldn't do the prompt justice, but I'm glad my writing skills aren't that bad.

Internet hugs!