(no subject)
So, i'm sitting here.. in the mist of packing, i find my senior book.. sit in the middle of my floor, of a nearly empty room. Open in, read what Jake Ruddle had to say, and balled my eyes out. I continue to cry as Time and Confusion - Anberlin comes up on my playlist. The person who understands why, i'm sure will not be reading this. At 9am tomorrow morning, I will be in my new home. A small room, shared with Lauren in Huntington W.V. Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to be growing up, moving on, and to have this whole expierecnce and the tips of my fingers. I'm ready to open in up like a present on Christmas Eve.. But for the first time, i've gotten sad. Truely sad, that I am leaving my home. I almost feel dumb, because sure, I'm an hour away and could make the trip anyday of the week, but when i wake up tomorrow morning, it will be the last time for a while i sleep in my nice queen size bed, or get on the Montrose exit. Driving around the past few days, it's really started to hit me. I will no longer be going to Southridge or the Town Center Mall. I won't pass my highschool and be able to pick out all my closest friends houses as I drive by. I won't come home to barking puppies anxious for me to pet them, or a mother that loves me more than life. I won't take breaks from work, and go see my brother at Abercrombie, and I'll be far away from the best strawberrry lemonade i've ever had in my life. Thankfully, the last few days have been spent with plenty of people I love, and I properly got to say goodbye to those who were going far away. College marks the beginnning of so much more than a new level of education. For most, it's the first time they are living on their own, and it's the first time i'm going to truely get to see if my parent taught me everything i needed to know to survive. I'm done crying now, and I'm overwhelmed with a very strange feeling. One I can't put into words, and one I'm sure many of my classmates also feel. I'm glad I found my senior book hiden away under my bed, I think I needed that reminder. I needed to remember that regardless what happens now, later, 10 years from now. I had an amazing time in high school, with some of the best friends I could have ever asked for. Any of you who are reading this, thank you. And please do big things. And to Jake Ruddle, one of the last people i think will read this... After all those years of pissing me off more than anything, I should have know i could leave it up to you to break me down, and make me feel. You're an amazing person, please don't lose touch. Tomorrow I officially start college at Marshall University. And I couldn't be more excited.