Long Time Comin’ and Why
So considering we hit the halfway mark on the Kickstarter today, I decided that it was time for some disclosure. Hey, I’m all about the honesty.
The truth is, this album has been a LOOONG time coming. I’ve been singing since I was about five years old, on stage since I was about 9, and been writing songs since the 5th grade (granted, those early works weren’t exactly masterpieces.
) I’ve been playing guitar since I was 13, and now, at 29, am FINALLY coming out with a debut CD.
Why IS that? Well, it’s like this…
I’ve been told a lot that I have talent. I’m not saying that to brag… quite the contrary, it usually takes me by surprise. Because I, like many, MANY artists… hell, many PEOPLE… have fairly low self-esteem.
It’s true. I talk about how I’m awesome and my nearest and dearest (usually) agree, but the fact of the matter is that I have a LOT of trouble believing it.
There are a lot of reasons for this that I could go back there but that’s the kind of stuff I like to leave in therapy as opposed to bothering you nice people with it.
But this is my reality. And every day, at LEAST once a day, as much as I am surrounded by reasons to believe that I’m very cool… at least one thing happens to make me feel like a total loser. Even if it’s just in my mind.
So, this album is actually really difficult for me, and a major undertaking. I’m rather pathetically bad at self-promotion. I spend a lot of my time counter-intuitively trying NOT to be noticed, even though what I would like most in the world is TO be noticed and to be credited for my talents and abilities. And I decided this year, after almost thirty years of hiding, that I’m going to record an album anyway. I’m going to try to get people to listen to it. I’m going to grit my teeth and step out the front door and swim through all of the thoughts of self-loathing and self-disappointment, and I’m going to refuse to believe that I’m a loser. I’m gonna be a superhero.
Sometimes, we have to make our own dreams come true. Sometimes, after all of our friends have tried to help rescue us, we have to beat the shit out of our own demons and save ourselves.
So this is my campaign. This is my epic journey. Maybe I’ll fall on my face, maybe I won’t sell a single CD, or maybe I’ll make all the boys and girls fall in love with me. But I decided that I’m never gonna know unless I try. And that if I fail… at least I gave it my damnedest.
And you never know… maybe I WILL save the world. Maybe I’ll kick some ass. =D
So thanks for riding it with me, in any case. You know who you are and you’re AWESOME.
And now ya know.
Love,
Crystal
Originally posted at Crystal's World Feel free to comment here or there.