Fired.
The really depressing thing about this is that *I* KNOW, inside, that I tried as hard as I could and gave it everything I had. So my best really is just not good enough.
So I really do just totally give up.
I couldn't even support myself and half support my kid, at the best job I ever found. And now I know I wasn't good enough for that job.
For the longest time I've been afraid, what if I really was just born capable of no more than going from shitty, dead-end job to shitty-dead end job and having a string of completely dysfunctional "relationships" while maintaining what I think are friendships with people who are really just "people I see at clubs" and going from crappy, tiny apartment to crappier, smaller apartment with intervals of ending up back on my mother's couch?
What if it's not just that I wasn't doing everything I could, what if I really am just a total fuckup?
Well, now I know.