she wrote
Back when
I was wrestling with something hard and rotten in my core.
I am not sure if it was in my heart or the pit of my stomach.
It has been there sine before I can remember.
It was conceived of the hurt where there should have been love, created by the hard, rotten things in themselves.
It was my own.
It was killing me and yet
I hung onto it tightly when I needed it most.
It was where I found my strength to ward off the very things that were feeding it.
It was my salvation.
It would not be denied.
I held it in my clutches never letting anyone near it.
You were different.
It can between us.
It became threatened when it felt my grip begin to slip.
It fought back.
Through it all you stayed.
No one had ever done anything like that for me before.
No one had ever loved me like that before.
I had no choice.
I unclenched my fist.
It turned out that there was nothing in there at all.
Just a void.
The thing I hung onto all these years was emptiness.
You rushed in where it had been
filling me completely.
Now, I wait for you
as long as it takes.
~D.
all i can say is WHAT THE FUCK???
Finding myself asking, what is so wrong with me
how can I be that blind not to see.
Words that have no meaning
they have lost all of the feeling.
As I tear myself open
And pour me out.
Everything for you to see,
what's inside of me.
For me to hear you say, you don't know what you see, there's nothing.
Saying how is it you could do this
Giving my heart another twist
Wanting to say fuck it all!
Let it all fall!
Then you build me back up again
How much do I have to bend?
Is this how it's going to end?
Rendered speechless
Left with not knowing what to say
There was a time in my life when I was not able to look into any kind of reflection without seeing things from the past, times of the future, the there and the now, to the what's right in front of me. Not all meant for me, some for those who were around me. This is where I became blind, I did not know how to read the signs not wanting this great gift of the divine. Now with passing of time. Opening my eyes I marvel at what I see. Tearing at the stitch that sewed them shut.
Trust,
mistrust
looking from within
on the outside
one side
inside
two or more
Take away the words
where is the meaning
upon which we need to keep feeding
that forever hungry soul
which never seems to get it's fill
take away my words you take away me.
my words are who I am,
who I may choose to be.
how I want to be seen.
all by what I tell you.
I was wrestling with something hard and rotten in my core.
I am not sure if it was in my heart or the pit of my stomach.
It has been there sine before I can remember.
It was conceived of the hurt where there should have been love, created by the hard, rotten things in themselves.
It was my own.
It was killing me and yet
I hung onto it tightly when I needed it most.
It was where I found my strength to ward off the very things that were feeding it.
It was my salvation.
It would not be denied.
I held it in my clutches never letting anyone near it.
You were different.
It can between us.
It became threatened when it felt my grip begin to slip.
It fought back.
Through it all you stayed.
No one had ever done anything like that for me before.
No one had ever loved me like that before.
I had no choice.
I unclenched my fist.
It turned out that there was nothing in there at all.
Just a void.
The thing I hung onto all these years was emptiness.
You rushed in where it had been
filling me completely.
Now, I wait for you
as long as it takes.
~D.
all i can say is WHAT THE FUCK???
Finding myself asking, what is so wrong with me
how can I be that blind not to see.
Words that have no meaning
they have lost all of the feeling.
As I tear myself open
And pour me out.
Everything for you to see,
what's inside of me.
For me to hear you say, you don't know what you see, there's nothing.
Saying how is it you could do this
Giving my heart another twist
Wanting to say fuck it all!
Let it all fall!
Then you build me back up again
How much do I have to bend?
Is this how it's going to end?
Rendered speechless
Left with not knowing what to say
There was a time in my life when I was not able to look into any kind of reflection without seeing things from the past, times of the future, the there and the now, to the what's right in front of me. Not all meant for me, some for those who were around me. This is where I became blind, I did not know how to read the signs not wanting this great gift of the divine. Now with passing of time. Opening my eyes I marvel at what I see. Tearing at the stitch that sewed them shut.
Trust,
mistrust
looking from within
on the outside
one side
inside
two or more
Take away the words
where is the meaning
upon which we need to keep feeding
that forever hungry soul
which never seems to get it's fill
take away my words you take away me.
my words are who I am,
who I may choose to be.
how I want to be seen.
all by what I tell you.