(no subject)
The two people that sit near me at work talk constantly and LOUD. I can't stand it. I just want a quiet place where i can do my work and not be disturbed.
There's some really cool information about Johnny Appleseed HERE. How much do you really know about Appleseed? Take a peek.
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping that was so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you f*cking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny, middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything I mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freaky girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kaluha and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
I haven't been able to make any art for a few days and it's starting to get me down! :(
On a brighter note: It's Thursday! Woot Woot! That means my favorite tv. Too bad most of my shows are on hiatus.
I love how they are promoing the The Office marathon: "Too much of a good thing? That's what she said." LOL Michael's favorite line. We like to watch Smallville and Supernatural on tape (so we can rewatch them and fast forward thru commercials) so we'll probably watch the first half of TO marathon. I'll probably switch to Grey's though if it isn't a repeat. I don't do repeats unless they are really funny or sexy. I hate that Men In Trees is still on hiatus. When the fuck is it coming back?!
BTW, have you seen the promotional pictures of Nathan Fillion in the upcoming tv series Drive? It premeries next month and you guys..Amy Acker is playing his wife!! You can see them all at tv.com I'm including just a couple for you:
I'm starving. Lunchtime. And I have to sneak out before my co-worker asks me to get her lunch. Again.
There's some really cool information about Johnny Appleseed HERE. How much do you really know about Appleseed? Take a peek.
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping that was so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you f*cking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny, middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything I mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freaky girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kaluha and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
I haven't been able to make any art for a few days and it's starting to get me down! :(
On a brighter note: It's Thursday! Woot Woot! That means my favorite tv. Too bad most of my shows are on hiatus.
I love how they are promoing the The Office marathon: "Too much of a good thing? That's what she said." LOL Michael's favorite line. We like to watch Smallville and Supernatural on tape (so we can rewatch them and fast forward thru commercials) so we'll probably watch the first half of TO marathon. I'll probably switch to Grey's though if it isn't a repeat. I don't do repeats unless they are really funny or sexy. I hate that Men In Trees is still on hiatus. When the fuck is it coming back?!
BTW, have you seen the promotional pictures of Nathan Fillion in the upcoming tv series Drive? It premeries next month and you guys..Amy Acker is playing his wife!! You can see them all at tv.com I'm including just a couple for you:
I'm starving. Lunchtime. And I have to sneak out before my co-worker asks me to get her lunch. Again.