Back from the gym.
Well, i went to the gym with tom, and kieran went swimming, and all was fine, i was jus being silly, gym going is not a private experience, it was one to be shared! So i only went on the running machine, for a grand total of 40mins, (not the best) i jogged alot, sprinted a little and speed walked up hill, all very beneficial exercises, and in honestly i really enjoyed it, its exactly wat i've been missing, and i feel a whole lot better for it now! exercise keeps me grounded, in the same sort of way that writing my thoughts down does! Therefore, this means it is going to become a permenant feature in my weekly life (especially now i've forked out £88 to do it...damn there goes more money!) Anyway, i am slightly disappointed with myself, because I used to do soooo much more! and today i gave up wen i mentally couldnt be arsed, rather than when i physcial and mentally couldnt do any more! Anyway, it was only the first time, so its a start.
Oh yeh, before i went it the gym I recieved a glorious phone call off my mother (jus wat i needed to motivate me to run) NOT!!!!!! Why does she keep doing this? ringing and upsetting me, she thinks its alright, it upsets her too, but its ok for her, cos shes got henrie and john to mull it over with, and i have no-one, jus me and myself! its not on! and it makes me feel bad, and i shouldnt....i mean she even hung up on me! i dont know how much more of it i can take, it really does cut me deep, but u know...i put on a brave face and all will be fine! but in the quiet moments wen ur left alone to think, the guilt and upset sets in! i just dont want it to be that way! i swear the whole of my life has been spent with mum making mountains out of molehills!
Then after all the excitement of the sports centre, we headed into town, i bought some moisturiser and eye make up remover from boots, and some fluffy red handcuffs. Tom bought more armani perfume (well obviously not perfume because hes male, but u know!) and I know I am allergic to it, so be warned!!
Oh yeh, before i went it the gym I recieved a glorious phone call off my mother (jus wat i needed to motivate me to run) NOT!!!!!! Why does she keep doing this? ringing and upsetting me, she thinks its alright, it upsets her too, but its ok for her, cos shes got henrie and john to mull it over with, and i have no-one, jus me and myself! its not on! and it makes me feel bad, and i shouldnt....i mean she even hung up on me! i dont know how much more of it i can take, it really does cut me deep, but u know...i put on a brave face and all will be fine! but in the quiet moments wen ur left alone to think, the guilt and upset sets in! i just dont want it to be that way! i swear the whole of my life has been spent with mum making mountains out of molehills!
Then after all the excitement of the sports centre, we headed into town, i bought some moisturiser and eye make up remover from boots, and some fluffy red handcuffs. Tom bought more armani perfume (well obviously not perfume because hes male, but u know!) and I know I am allergic to it, so be warned!!