Part 15 - Love in the Time of Cosmo (Finale)
CRYSTAL PALACE 3
Part Fifteen - Love in the Time of Cosmo
EXT. DRIVEWAY. 3 WEEKS LATER, AFTERNOON.
The scene opens with a straight view of the house on a cloudy April day. Cosmo's car sits at its usual spot along the curb. The garage door opens and a forest green van reaches the driveway. Inside, Jennifer taps her finger on the steering wheel when she sees Akira pass by. She watches him with a sense of concern as he loads Cosmo's trunk with a suitcase. In the backseat, Crystallina presses her hands against the window.
CRYSTALLINA
What's Daddy doing?
JENNIFER
I have no idea. Ever since we came back from that trip, I swear...
They roll into the garage and enter the house. The first thing they see upon stepping into the kitchen is Cosmo checking his wrist watch and hurrying down the hall. Jennifer follows him a ways.
JENNIFER
Cosmo, what's going on?
He stops when he hears her, then laughs half-heartedly.
COSMO
Well, the doctor said I could take care of myself by week three, so I'm heading back to my apartment.
Just then, Akira comes through the door with his sleeves rolled and his mouth ajar.
AKIRA
Cosmo, do you want your Evian in the cup holder?
COSMO
Yes, that'd be most convenient.
He nods and heads to the kitchen, where Crystallina's poking a straw into a juice box. She grimaces as her father struggles with some bags and bottles.
Cosmo slightly nods to himself as Akira returns. He doesn't even help him with the front door, despite his struggles. Jennifer frowns, but doesn't help either.
JENNIFER
Is um... everything going to be okay for you after you leave? I was under the impression you still needed a lot of... assistance,
She glances at her husband, who's trying to keep the door open with his ass as he balances Cosmo's things.
JENNIFER
From Akira and I...
Cosmo looks taken aback, but rests a hand lightly on her shoulder.
COSMO
Empty Nest Syndrome, is it?
JENNIFER
N-
COSMO
You've given me a lifetime of hospitality, but I really, really need to get back on my own feet now. Akira's only behaving this way because, well, because he knows what an awful person he is and is looking for my forgiveness. Even while I can blackmail him to my heart's content, I think the only thing I want to do at this point is never come back here. (pause) I mean, only every once in a while. Perhaps we'll do dinner.
JENNIFER
Right...
After a swift turn, he locates his fedora and lets himself out. Jennifer crosses her arms and stares at the closed door for some time before falling over the couch. In her hand, she remembers a crumpled note is folded inside and glances at it.
Outside, Cosmo strides to the car without so much as looking at his cousin, who's standing with his hands dangling, waiting; waiting for another order, waiting for a thank you; waiting for anything.
COSMO
(deadpan)
Bye, Akira.
He sits down and slams the door just as Akira inhales to reply. The engine starts with an offensive rumble.
AKIRA
Wait a minute!
He can clearly see Cosmo switching gears as he jumps in front of the car. Out of fear of being flattened, he hops out of the way with great haste. Cosmo rolls down the window.
AKIRA
That's all?!
Cosmo blinks, then smirks to his lap.
COSMO
Aw, geez. Where are my manners?
He reaches for his cash compartment and reveals a shiny nickel to Akira. Akira's lip begins to flap helplessly with fury before he slaps the coin straight from his hand. It rolls beneath the car.
AKIRA
What the hell is that?! Is this seriously how it's going to be from now on?!
COSMO
I don't see why you're surprised. You've made this bed for years. It'd be a waste if you never laid in it.
Akira's brow furrows.
COSMO
If it makes you feel better, I just need to get it out of my system. Unlike you, I'm not naturally such a dick. It takes an utter bombardment of mistreatment and disrespect. If I didn't plan to forget I even had a cousin as soon as I got home, I might like to make you a trophy just for being so good at those two things.
By the end of his response, Akira looks like his eyes might be watering.
AKIRA
Is that so? Well, say what you like. You're the one who thought what happened meant something more.
COSMO
I had a tumor! Not only were you suddenly meaningless to me after my surgery, but I feel pretty sure now that it could be nothing other than a growth in my brain that would inspire me to have any type of romantic feelings for you. No offense to Jennifer.
AKIRA
Now that's just mean.
COSMO
Do you want me to have feelings for you or something?
Akira looks around to make sure no one's watching and puts his hands on his hips.
AKIRA
No, but I feel pretty certain you're just being emotionally constipated!
Cosmo stares at Akira and lets out a chuckle.
COSMO
Akira, you can't not see the irony in that statement.
AKIRA
I don't know what you mean.
COSMO
You're, like, the most emotionally constipated being in all of existence. Seriously.
Akira huffs.
AKIRA
I don't know about all of existence.
COSMO
Look, Akira, I'm floating on a cloud of Vicodin-induced euphoria and you're harshing my mellow here.
AKIRA
You can't just act like nothing ever happened!
COSMO
For all intents and purposes, nothing did happen. It's time to move on with our lives. You have a wife and a daughter to take care of. Grow the fuck up already.
Akira laughs humorlessly at the suggestion that he has anything resembling control over his family, much less his own life.
COSMO
I really must be going. Don't be a stranger. Or do. I think we just need a break...indefinitely.
AKIRA
From what exactly?
COSMO
Being in each other's presence. At all. Cheerio!
The window rolls up and Cosmo drives off, leaving a dumbfounded Akira behind.
AKIRA
Son of a bitch!
He kicks a neighbor's lawn gnome and then instantly regrets it, clutching his foot in agony.
Seeing no more point in standing outside like a douchehammer, he turns around and goes back inside. Jennifer and Crystallina are sitting on the sofa, obviously ready for some kind of conversation. At least, Jennifer is.
She speaks his name, but he trudges past her, a slight limp in his walk. His family becomes a blur behind him as he hurries for the cabinet. His hand nears the knob but slides down the wooden door, squeaking all the way by his perspiration. His face turns to the sliding glass doors a moment as he ruminates. There, a force he had always known overtakes him. The force of music; of his fallen dreams; of his restricted artistic expression.
He glances to the hallway before slipping out the door. He presses his back against it and watches the grey sky. It resembles a dirty sponge, as bleak as his future. As if on cue, a tiny sprinkle lands on his cheek and rolls down like a tear. Then another lands between a crease in his forehead. He raises his hands just a little and takes a deep breath.
SONG: Drowning in Darkness
AKIRA
I don't know why I don't just raise my head,
like a chicken waiting for the end
If I~ just did less thinking,
and realized nothing's gonna change, my friiiiend~
He steps off the deck and passes the flower beds, running his hands through some daffodils.
AKIRA
I don't have them anyway
Had but one and now he's strayed
I've got no reason to go on
There's no place for me 'cause I'm...
The camera zooms on him as he leans against the gate.
AKIRA
Drownin' in darkness!
Drownin' in sadness, drownin' in my liiii-hiiiife!
How do you stop this? You just can't~
It's the storm of strife~
Shots of the sky and shadowed areas of the yard are shown, blown softly by the wind.
AKIRA
You hear it comin', like Enya said,
from that chicken waiting for the end
An image of a chicken turns gravely towards the camera.
AKIRA
Even the chicken's smarter than me
I don't know why I didn't see!
I don't have hope anyway
I was doomed in every way!
I've got no reason to go on
There's no home for me 'causeeee
It cuts to him standing at the side of the house with a postman, fed-ex guy, and a jogger harmonizing behind him. He passes each while wailing passionately.
AKIRA
Drownin' in darkness!
Drownin' in sadness, drownin' in my liiii-hiiiife! (oh Enyaaa)
How do you stop this? You just can't~
It's the storm of strife~
A man at the sidewalk is suddenly playing the violin to the same tune. At his side is a dog with a leash fallen to its side.
The violinist/dog-walker is followed by a neighbor playing the piano in the yard nextdoor. Akira appears next to him and supplies a harmonizing tune an octave higher and continues to sing.
AKIRA
Trapped in Shakespeare
I feel like MacBeth with mah' tragic flaw
Everyone's got 'em, but there's just no law,
with love~
My family's gotta hate me
Sure they don't relate me to anybody needin' sympathyyyy
EeeeooOOooo~
The chorus carries on and gains intensity, mimicking African rain songs with a touch of pop. The rain drops fall more steadily and pattern his clothes as he swings circles in the yard, Oooing and Aaaing like Christina Aguilera.
Back in the house, Crystallina and Jennifer clearly hear someone outside, but aren't sure where the sound is coming from.
CRYSTALLINA
Is that Daddy?
Akira's body sways past a window at the other end of the room, voice growing and dwindling in volume as his closeness fluctuates.
JENNIFER
Your father has a few issues to sort out.
CRYSTALLINA
He's really taking this break-up hard.
No instrumental or beat is apparent from inside the house, but back outside, the orchestra is in full bloom as he continues his torch song, and even imagines the postman sashaying around him in time to the music. The rest of the group, including neighbors tending to their yard, round out his Busby Berkeley fantasy. He takes a deep breath, clenches his fists, shuts his eyes even harder, and then belts out a final note that goes on for an awkward amount of time...as if his singing in broad daylight in front of a couple dozen witnesses wasn't sufficiently awkward.
When he finally finishes, he doubles over and catches his breath. Parents grab their children and run inside. Passersby just back away slowly. The "violinist" from earlier is missing his instrument, but clutches the leash of his dog tightly and holds his cellphone open, looking contemplative. The "pianist" takes his mail and goes inside while glaring at Akira. Without any regard for them, Akira goes back inside the house and appears in the living room like nothing ever happened.
AKIRA
You wanted to say something to me?
Jennifer glances out the window and shrugs.
JENNIFER
...I got another note from Crystallina's teacher today.
Akira grunts non-committally.
CRYSTALLINA
I-I think seeing my face is just too hard for him right now.
AKIRA
You are just now discovering this?
CRYSTALLINA
I know our break-up seemed very sudden, but you were getting distant and I have needs and--
JENNIFER
Quiet, Crystallina.
CRYSTALLINA
Look, you're only here by the grace of ME. Remember that!
JENNIFER
Anyway, Miss Belisle informed me that Crystallina has apparently been implementing what's best described as "a regime of psychological terror" over her classmates.
AKIRA
...What?
JENNIFER
She didn't really get into much more detail than that...she wants to see us. Again.
AKIRA
Because that's worked so well the past zillion times we've done it!
JENNIFER
Well we have to do something.
AKIRA
Are you sure about that?
Jennifer stands up.
JENNIFER
We'll be in the car.
Jennifer herds Crystallina out of the room. Akira stands there for a bit before heading for his old friend, Mr. Liquor Cabinet. He fishes around for something small enough to fit in his coat pocket and settles on some bourbon. He removes the bottle from the back of the cabinet and is greeted with none other than Drunky the Elephant. Akira actually smiles a little.
DRUNKY
Go get 'em, Tiger!
Akira looks at the bottle, then back to Drunky. He untwists the cap and takes a small swig before saluting the pinkish pachyderm. The cabinet door closes on the camera and only the darkness inside remains.
(6pgs)