(no subject)
i hate it........hate it............all i fucking do is hurt ppl. i always do. its cus i'm so fucking bitter. i hate how no gets me o even fucking tries to.....but still i always want help other ppl cus i don't them sad and shit, but no matter what always get them pissed off......i fucking hate myself so much.
i hate being mad.....it brings back too many bad memories.....shit i can't even speak right now, my heart started hurting, and i coughed so much that my throat gave away(at least for now)....i remember when i was little.....i lost the will to speak once......for nearly a month i didn't say one word....no one in my family brings it up cus they feel reponsible, my parents at least.....i'm not going into why i went silent, so don't expect me to tell you. i feel so blank and emtpy right now..........
....and for once....in a very long time...........i feel like i hate words..that its better not to speak......
i'm scared.....
scared i'm losing my will to talk again...........
i kno i have a problem.....once i don't think any realized that...
but you kno
i don't want pity
it my fault i got like this......
i hate being mad.....it brings back too many bad memories.....shit i can't even speak right now, my heart started hurting, and i coughed so much that my throat gave away(at least for now)....i remember when i was little.....i lost the will to speak once......for nearly a month i didn't say one word....no one in my family brings it up cus they feel reponsible, my parents at least.....i'm not going into why i went silent, so don't expect me to tell you. i feel so blank and emtpy right now..........
....and for once....in a very long time...........i feel like i hate words..that its better not to speak......
i'm scared.....
scared i'm losing my will to talk again...........
i kno i have a problem.....once i don't think any realized that...
but you kno
i don't want pity
it my fault i got like this......