Life is hectic lol
A lot has been going on lately, part of it good and a part of it bad.
I joined the website sparkpeople to try to live a healthy lifestyle. I'm sick of this worrying/obsessing over weight. I just want to live normally. The things that use to terrify me when I was younger just bore me now. So what if I think I'm fat. Who really cares? My family tells me I'm not and although I can see a lot of fat when I look in the mirror, I'm tired of the same old mind-eye tricks. What am I really seeing? What do I really look like? It just takes too much energy and I have way too much going on in my life to really give it any time. While I'm a little freaked, the majority of me just waves it away and concentrates on something else. I'm sick of this. It has to stop somewhere, and I'm the only one who can make it go away.
I'm running 2-3 times a week now, a little less than I should, and although I feel kind of bad about it, I think I should learn to rest my knee so it doesn't start acting up again. I do NOT want to have to stop running for a year or so. It hurt yesterday after a partiularly hard run, so today I'm resting it. Tomorrow and the next day will be running days. I'm having a lot of fun jogging around the whole neighborhood.
Yesterday I went back to the old neighborhood and saw our old house, the one we had on Westend. It was sad.
So now that I'm feeling this way, who catches the weight-paranoia bug? My sister Angela. She thinks she's fat because she can't fit into some particular shirts. I feel bad for her up to a point, but when she starts throwing hissy fits and taking it out on other people, that's where I draw the line. She was really rude to me all day. It's getting to the point where I just find excuses to leave the house so I don't have to put up with her. Also, she's trying to cut her calories way down. I guess she's getting like 500-800 a day. I know that's bad, but talking to her doesn't help. If I talk to her or give it any attention at all, it'll just get worse because she's getting what she wants: sympathy and attention. I know I sound mean, but you'd have to know her to understand. She's kind of a wannarexic at times. :( Eventually, she'll have to eat again. Believe me, she'll eat. When she does, all this weight will come FLYNG back, and then more. You can't starve or drastically cut calories, it just doesn't work. It makes you fat.
Anyways, that little rant is over. Now onto the next thing: I've decided to become a vegetarian. I'm really happy about my decision. I've just been having these thoughts that eating meat (or fish, and eggs) is wrong. They've been creeping up on me for a few months and I've decided to just give it all up and start a new, healthy lifestyle, one that I find morally and healthy-wise fulfilling. I'm actually kind of proud of myself. My family doesn't understand, they treat me kind of weird, but I don't care. See, I don't think killing and eating animals is wrong. That's only natural, other animals do it, our ancestors did it. That's the way of life. It's when mankind takes the animals and creates horrific places like slaughter houses, or when they cage the animals and inject them with chemicals and sell them as a worthless product with no regard to their life, that really outrages me. That's soulless. Disgusting. Terrible, cruel. I'm running out of appropriate adjectives. I feel the same way toward poaching. I dont believe in animal fur. People kill off tens of thousands of animals for their furs, horns,etc., just to make a little money. It was different back when our ancestors did it, they skinned animals for shelter against the cold. Horrifically killing animals just to skin them and make a few bucks is outrageous. I canNOT STAND animal fur. I can't even stand fake animal fur because it looks so much like to real thing, it's like a mockery of what people do to animals.
So that's why I decided to stop eating meat (of any kind) eggs, and fish. I'm not sure if I shold cut out dairy or not, but I am definetely working on it. I'm proud of my new principles. They mean a lot to me, and I'm sticking with them. I don't care if Mom likes it or not. She's not exactly supportive when it comes to vegetarianism, but oh well. I don't need her support.
Soooo, that's what's been going on. (That and a few other things.)
I know my post was a little long, but that's okay. :) I'm glad I finally got some extra time to write in my journal!!! Phew! lol
I joined the website sparkpeople to try to live a healthy lifestyle. I'm sick of this worrying/obsessing over weight. I just want to live normally. The things that use to terrify me when I was younger just bore me now. So what if I think I'm fat. Who really cares? My family tells me I'm not and although I can see a lot of fat when I look in the mirror, I'm tired of the same old mind-eye tricks. What am I really seeing? What do I really look like? It just takes too much energy and I have way too much going on in my life to really give it any time. While I'm a little freaked, the majority of me just waves it away and concentrates on something else. I'm sick of this. It has to stop somewhere, and I'm the only one who can make it go away.
I'm running 2-3 times a week now, a little less than I should, and although I feel kind of bad about it, I think I should learn to rest my knee so it doesn't start acting up again. I do NOT want to have to stop running for a year or so. It hurt yesterday after a partiularly hard run, so today I'm resting it. Tomorrow and the next day will be running days. I'm having a lot of fun jogging around the whole neighborhood.
Yesterday I went back to the old neighborhood and saw our old house, the one we had on Westend. It was sad.
So now that I'm feeling this way, who catches the weight-paranoia bug? My sister Angela. She thinks she's fat because she can't fit into some particular shirts. I feel bad for her up to a point, but when she starts throwing hissy fits and taking it out on other people, that's where I draw the line. She was really rude to me all day. It's getting to the point where I just find excuses to leave the house so I don't have to put up with her. Also, she's trying to cut her calories way down. I guess she's getting like 500-800 a day. I know that's bad, but talking to her doesn't help. If I talk to her or give it any attention at all, it'll just get worse because she's getting what she wants: sympathy and attention. I know I sound mean, but you'd have to know her to understand. She's kind of a wannarexic at times. :( Eventually, she'll have to eat again. Believe me, she'll eat. When she does, all this weight will come FLYNG back, and then more. You can't starve or drastically cut calories, it just doesn't work. It makes you fat.
Anyways, that little rant is over. Now onto the next thing: I've decided to become a vegetarian. I'm really happy about my decision. I've just been having these thoughts that eating meat (or fish, and eggs) is wrong. They've been creeping up on me for a few months and I've decided to just give it all up and start a new, healthy lifestyle, one that I find morally and healthy-wise fulfilling. I'm actually kind of proud of myself. My family doesn't understand, they treat me kind of weird, but I don't care. See, I don't think killing and eating animals is wrong. That's only natural, other animals do it, our ancestors did it. That's the way of life. It's when mankind takes the animals and creates horrific places like slaughter houses, or when they cage the animals and inject them with chemicals and sell them as a worthless product with no regard to their life, that really outrages me. That's soulless. Disgusting. Terrible, cruel. I'm running out of appropriate adjectives. I feel the same way toward poaching. I dont believe in animal fur. People kill off tens of thousands of animals for their furs, horns,etc., just to make a little money. It was different back when our ancestors did it, they skinned animals for shelter against the cold. Horrifically killing animals just to skin them and make a few bucks is outrageous. I canNOT STAND animal fur. I can't even stand fake animal fur because it looks so much like to real thing, it's like a mockery of what people do to animals.
So that's why I decided to stop eating meat (of any kind) eggs, and fish. I'm not sure if I shold cut out dairy or not, but I am definetely working on it. I'm proud of my new principles. They mean a lot to me, and I'm sticking with them. I don't care if Mom likes it or not. She's not exactly supportive when it comes to vegetarianism, but oh well. I don't need her support.
Soooo, that's what's been going on. (That and a few other things.)
I know my post was a little long, but that's okay. :) I'm glad I finally got some extra time to write in my journal!!! Phew! lol