(no subject)
hi. there was like..a lot of things i was gonna write in here last night but my internet for some reason stopped working. and now i cant remember it all.
yesterday i went to the clark/bowling alley thing to see if any of my..friends were there. i saw jacqui so i went to her, she was with two guys, one guy on a bike that i sort of see sometimes in school but i dont know him and some guy that was like..uber gangster looking and it made me excited. i kind of figured he was a wigger at first cause he looked white and he had these cool blue green eyes and he talked mad ghetto..but apparently hes dominican. hes 25 and just got out of jail. he lived in holyoke before...this makes me really excited. haha i felt like i almost had someone to relate to and it was cool. i dont think i ever liked being around someone like that that much. he had tattoos and bad teeth..to tell the truth he looked a mess. it was disgusting..for some reason i was still sort of cool with hanging out with him. he has a daughter thats like..3 or 4. he was only there cause he was taking his little brother whos 14 fishing even though the little brother was supposed to be grounded but then they went to the clark place to hang and he had to wait for his little brother so he was just chilling with jacqui and the other kid...i think his name was jeff.
oh em eff gee so randomly like 7 HUGE [tall, not fat] dark dark black guys with like big t shirts and basketball shorts come out of no where and are like hey wheres the ice rink? and someone pointed it out to them. like 5 minutes later they came back and were like so wheres the bowling alley. someone pointed that out too. and someone was like "are you looking for the basketball courts?" and they were like "we dont play basketball" me and the 25 yr old gangster started quietly cracking up. the black kids were like "we're from arizona" apparently they go to the winchendon school [a private school that people from all over the country come to...] hahahahha that was the most black people ive seen at once so far. me and the old gangster guy thought it was great. they came back around like "you guys got any weed?" lmao! jacqui pointed them in the direction of where they could find some and they left. yeah that was funny.
so yeah. my dad saw the old gangster guy [his name i think is lito] and started taunting me saying he was my boyfriend cause when like everyone left to go over somewhere he stayed sitting next to me and we talked and stuff. haha! that guy was DISGUSTING and he had a daughter and a baby momma that he doesnt like and he likes guns and fights and just got out of jail...OH yeah thats the kind of guy im looking for..psh.
ok. well. today we saw march of the penguins. ..woo. it was cute i guess. sad sometimes. nastty old people behind us were maddd annoying and talked a lot. when i got home salina and alyssa and nicole and emily and i dont know who else called me. yay. they were on the trampoline. it was great, talking to them for like..4 minutes. they sounded like they were having so much fun and i loved it. nothing here is as fun as just hanging with friends in springfield with something as simple as a trampoline and a camera. it was amazing..as stupid as that sounds..im serious..its that different. nothings as happy and fun as that. it reminded me of how much fun springfield really is. and how i took it for granted.
well i have an essay to write and book about the kgb to read. oh yeah and the requested 20 random facts thing...
1. I'm jealous of pretty much all my friends' hair and i dont think mine is cool.
2. I feel extremely awkward and out of place calling the couple people ive met here friends. It doesn't feel right and I never really know what to say instead.
3. I cry a lot more than I tell you and am ashamed of it.
4. I'm a procastinator to an unhealthy point.
5. Almost every dream I've had since I moved here has been about either moving back to Springfield, being in Springfield, or my friends from Springfield.
6. I'm afraid of change and still havent accepted or really faced that fact that I'm not going back to Central...that hurts
7. I still don't know what I want to do for a career and that's probably not a good thing.
8. A lot of people Ive met here somehow in the littlest way reminds me of the cheesiest parts of my friends in Springfield.
9. I'd rather eat steak than a hot dog.
10. I eat raw cookie dough.
11. I think I've gotten an addiction to Coca-Cola.
12. I feed on attention...I want to be loved and I'm always paranoid that my friends dont really like me.
13. I like stars.
14. I really really really really want a boy for my own and I get jealous when I see cute couples and sometimes I dont think anyone would/should want me.
15. I'm not satisfied with myself or my body and as much as other people will tell me I look good or am too skinny or that I'm pretty, I feel like it's not good enough for me.
16. I suck at reading.
17. I'm fairly good at math.
18. I spend too much time online.
19. I don't want to grow up.
20. My worst fear right now is that people will get over me leaving and forget about me, even though they ALWAYS tell me they wont.