Old xanga posts
Omg, I can't believe I found these again!
Confucius Quotes
Confucius Say. . .
"Man who walks thru airport door sideways is going to Bangkok."
"Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt wake up with sticky/smelly finger."
"Man who live in round house, cannot shit in corner."
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
"Man who makes love in pantry have ass in jam."
"Virgin like balloon . . . one prick, all gone."
"Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Work to become, not to acquire."
"Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."
"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
"Find old man in dark, not hard!"
"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
"Ok for shit to happen . . . will decompose."
"Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."
"Sailor who gets discharged from Navy leave buddies behind."
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."
"Don't drink and park . . . accidents cause people."
"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is dirty double crosser."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
"Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary."
"Woman who fly upside down in plane crack up."
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."
"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!"
"War not determine who's right, determines who's left."
"Confucius say too damn much!"
"Those who quote me are fools."
Learn Chiense in 30 seconds!:
Dum Gai A stupid person
Gun Pao Der An ancient Chinese invention
Lin Ching An illegal execution
Hu Yu Hai Ding We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive
Wai U Shao Ting There is no reason to raise your voice
Hu Flung Dung Which one of you fertilized the field?
Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu: A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift
Jan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show host Kum Hia: Approach me
Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan's Island
Lao Zi: Not very good
Moon Lan Ding: A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn: A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai: A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be: A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne: A small horse
Ten Ding Ba: Serving drinks to people
Yu Mai Te Tan: Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah: Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim: Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting: There is no reason to raise your voice
Wai Yu So Dum: Where did you go to school?
Wai Yu Bei Ting Mei: You don't fight fairly.
Yu So Tai Ne: You're a punk!
Hu Yu Loo King Fo: Are you from the IRS?
Lai Ze Dae: I'm on Vacation
Confucius Quotes
Confucius Say. . .
"Man who walks thru airport door sideways is going to Bangkok."
"Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt wake up with sticky/smelly finger."
"Man who live in round house, cannot shit in corner."
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
"Man who makes love in pantry have ass in jam."
"Virgin like balloon . . . one prick, all gone."
"Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Work to become, not to acquire."
"Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."
"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
"Find old man in dark, not hard!"
"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
"Ok for shit to happen . . . will decompose."
"Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."
"Sailor who gets discharged from Navy leave buddies behind."
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."
"Don't drink and park . . . accidents cause people."
"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is dirty double crosser."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
"Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary."
"Woman who fly upside down in plane crack up."
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."
"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!"
"War not determine who's right, determines who's left."
"Confucius say too damn much!"
"Those who quote me are fools."
Learn Chiense in 30 seconds!:
Dum Gai A stupid person
Gun Pao Der An ancient Chinese invention
Lin Ching An illegal execution
Hu Yu Hai Ding We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive
Wai U Shao Ting There is no reason to raise your voice
Hu Flung Dung Which one of you fertilized the field?
Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu: A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift
Jan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show host Kum Hia: Approach me
Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan's Island
Lao Zi: Not very good
Moon Lan Ding: A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn: A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai: A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be: A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne: A small horse
Ten Ding Ba: Serving drinks to people
Yu Mai Te Tan: Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah: Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim: Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting: There is no reason to raise your voice
Wai Yu So Dum: Where did you go to school?
Wai Yu Bei Ting Mei: You don't fight fairly.
Yu So Tai Ne: You're a punk!
Hu Yu Loo King Fo: Are you from the IRS?
Lai Ze Dae: I'm on Vacation