Since...
I began applying to college this past year, I thought I wanted to go to fairfield in southern ct. I thought it was where i really wanted to go. Especially after I visited there. but while i continued to look for colleges, i felt like i'd never find the college 'for me'. the one that i just fell in love with. like karen and clark. but i applied. and i got deferred. and i've applied to multiple other schools, but none that i have really honestly shown a genuine interest in. until i thought about uconn. i have always said that if i went to uconn, i'd feel like i was selling out. and i still in a way feel that way. but thinking about it, i'd rather go to a larger school. and i haven't found a huge one that i like. besides utexas-austin, but i dont know how i'd do with the distance. granted it would be simply amazing :D. i'd also rather go to uconn and get my bachelor's, and then go elsewhere for grad school. i really do feel like i'm selling out by wanting to go there. everyone else has big dreams of brandeis, harvard or georgetown. while i'm sitting here dreaming of uconn. and then today DID NOT help. someone else... a best friend... questioning me about WHY i want to go to uconn. it hurt. he thinks i want go there just because of who else goes there. that made me feel like a piece of shit. just a piece of fucking shit. so i'd like to say thanks....
not.
not.