Bowlingz 4 Bitches
Author's note: Complete joke of a fanfic. Inspired by Brendon's Instagram post.
Rating:PG-13 (sex with inanimate objects)
It was Brendon's 26th birthday today. He celebrated it by going bowling with his best pal Spencer, Spencer's girlfriend, and his lovely fiancée.
“Hey Spencer, I got balls!” the birthday boy squealed. Even though he's twenty six now, he would act half of his age sometimes. Spencer walked over to his bandmate and took one of the off-white balls from him.
“That's not fair.”
“Stop bein' such a little kid.”
Spencer playfully mussed Brendon's hair and gave the ball a kiss.
“Pretend that that kiss was for you,”
It may have seemed weird to him, but Spencer enjoyed how smooth the ball was and how the outside was warm from him holding it for a while.
“It's your turn. What are you-”
Shit. Urie was watching him deeply kiss it's surface. Was Spencer trying to tell him something?
“Uhh…”
When the girls, slightly tipsy off of wine, were chatting to each other, Spencer leaned in to tell Brendon something.
“Dude…umm…this is weird and I know you were watching. But you should try it. Feel how smooth and warm the ball is.”
He looked at him questioningly and was hesitant to do as he was told. Even though Brendon has experimented with a couple of balls back in the day, this was quite strange. Putting the bowling ball up to his full lips, he gave it a few pecks before he realized how divine it was. Spencer was right. He opened his eyes again and saw the bulge coming through his friend's dark pants.
“I-I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back everyone,”
The girls just said okay and Brendon attached his lips back to the ball. Oh fuck, it was starting to turn him on as well.
“Hold up, Spence, I'm coming with you,” (how punny.)
As soon as they both got into stalls next to each other, they slid their jeans off along with their boxers. Brendon was already leaking when he came up with a good idea. Instead of fucking his hand, he spit into the ball gleaming in the artificial light and rubbed it against one of the holes. Spencer has the exact same idea. The shallow holes were just enough for them. They were extremely tight too. Tighter than anal.
"Ah…fuck…" Spencer moaned, surprisingly making Brendon harder. He couldn't possibly know why that turned him on. They came within a few sharp thrusts at the same time while emptying out into all the three holes. It took Spencer a while to get out of the stall to wash up. Brendon didn't even bother and rushed to get his clothes on and to put the ball back. Sarah was waiting outside of the mens' room so that she could take a picture of him and Spencer. He eventually came out.
“You guys look tired. How about we go home after this?”
Brendon nodded as Sarah took out her phone.
“Say cheese you guys!” Linda gave Spencer a grin and he pretended to lick the ball while looking at her. The birthday boy did the same while looking at Sarah's phone camera.
“No one will ever find out.”
“Yeah, they'll never have a clue of what we just did.” They both chucked and put the uncleaned bowling balls back. It's going to be quite a surprise for whoever uses those balls next.
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