(no subject)
It's been a fucking weird few days.
Girl, Interrupted in English gave me all sorts of flashbacks. It would have been fine if I could crawl into a corner and laugh and/or cry about the utter ridiculousness of it all. But, I was in class with other people and I just felt so vulnerable.
I've been feeling unreal again. It's been freaking my parents out and they don't know what to do. It's one thing they just won't understand...hell, I don't even understand it. My mood has been crazy...sometimes I'm completely numb. Then I feel everything all at once and then I get sad or elated. So weird.
I scratched my thumb...told my parents some story about that.
I was driving to Borders with my dad and I was all, "How do I know I'm real? How do I know that that tree is really a tree and we're really in a car?" He just gave me this weird look and said, "You just need to accept things to function normally in this world." But, I just CAN'T. I don't know how to explain it. Nothing is certain, not even my own existance.
The shrink is screwing around with my meds. I'm down to 80 of Celexa and 5 of Zyprexa. BuSpar is the same as always. My parents think my problems are because of this instability. I know they aren't. I just need to be off them. They suck the life out of me. Once I'm out of college and with my own insurance, I won't even waste my money on therapists and shrinks and meds. It's pointless.
I'm sorry for talking about this, it just needs to come out sometimes.
Girl, Interrupted in English gave me all sorts of flashbacks. It would have been fine if I could crawl into a corner and laugh and/or cry about the utter ridiculousness of it all. But, I was in class with other people and I just felt so vulnerable.
I've been feeling unreal again. It's been freaking my parents out and they don't know what to do. It's one thing they just won't understand...hell, I don't even understand it. My mood has been crazy...sometimes I'm completely numb. Then I feel everything all at once and then I get sad or elated. So weird.
I scratched my thumb...told my parents some story about that.
I was driving to Borders with my dad and I was all, "How do I know I'm real? How do I know that that tree is really a tree and we're really in a car?" He just gave me this weird look and said, "You just need to accept things to function normally in this world." But, I just CAN'T. I don't know how to explain it. Nothing is certain, not even my own existance.
The shrink is screwing around with my meds. I'm down to 80 of Celexa and 5 of Zyprexa. BuSpar is the same as always. My parents think my problems are because of this instability. I know they aren't. I just need to be off them. They suck the life out of me. Once I'm out of college and with my own insurance, I won't even waste my money on therapists and shrinks and meds. It's pointless.
I'm sorry for talking about this, it just needs to come out sometimes.