wow im a loser
i thought that was enough but i guess i was wrong...i still have more to say
well i thought i was done but i guess i was wrong becuz i still have this feeling where i should tell you guys everything...but i dont trust everyone who reads this and most of you people dont give a shit anyways so me writing in this is a waste of my time and yours becuz u actually fucking read it.
I'm sorry i must apologize for the entry that i wrote before this...it was extremly selfish of me to write that. I love my boyfriend and i never ever want to lose him. By me writing that tells me that i have thoughts about other guys. But you cant blame me. I saw my boyfriend on friday for about 3 hours. After that he called me on friday for 5-10 minutes. Saturday-Monday no call. I finally called him on tuesday and only talked for 1/2 an hour. I used to talk to him for hours a day and he used to tell me every hour how much he loved me. I dont get any of that anymore hes to busy for me and never calls me. I know he loves me, well atleast i hope he does, but he doesnt understand that everytime he doesn't call i go into this frenzy where i panic...thinking that me and him are over. becuz wen were talking he's always reassuring me that he loves me and he cares...but wen hes not here to say it i only have my friends words...and they count for nothing becuz theyve said it in the past and i still end up getting hurt. So even though i love my friends to death they have the worst judgement in guys ive ever met. Brandon is all i have in ym life right now. Even my school work which used to be awesome has seemed to gone down....really far. I dont evne want to g2 school anymore i only go for him. I hate coming home bcuz i have to go hours without him. I've devoted my whole life to him and hes only devoted 1/50th of his life to me. I just want him to understand how much he means to me. He's not even gunna read this becuz he doesnt go online. But i want everyone who's reading this to understand that living my life isnt easy. I may be a spoiled little girl who gets whatever she wants from mommy and daddy and seems to be happy and hyper and good all the time....but if you lived one day in my head i guarntee ud kill urself. The thoughts i have to put up with are absolutely annoying. I cant even go a day without crying becuz of them. i don't even mean to it just happens. I try to tell myself that everything is going to be alright and in the end ill be happy...but i end up telling myself that i suck at life and i deserve to be miserable. and thats why i am the way i am...i guess wat im trying to say is i miss Brandon...i need to so bad no1 understands how much im dieing...
I love him dont u understand, id give my life for him....no matter what he wanted...id give it to him...
I LOVE BRANDON MOSKWA...if you cant get over that...then you can fuck off becuz i dont care wat u think..
well i thought i was done but i guess i was wrong becuz i still have this feeling where i should tell you guys everything...but i dont trust everyone who reads this and most of you people dont give a shit anyways so me writing in this is a waste of my time and yours becuz u actually fucking read it.
I'm sorry i must apologize for the entry that i wrote before this...it was extremly selfish of me to write that. I love my boyfriend and i never ever want to lose him. By me writing that tells me that i have thoughts about other guys. But you cant blame me. I saw my boyfriend on friday for about 3 hours. After that he called me on friday for 5-10 minutes. Saturday-Monday no call. I finally called him on tuesday and only talked for 1/2 an hour. I used to talk to him for hours a day and he used to tell me every hour how much he loved me. I dont get any of that anymore hes to busy for me and never calls me. I know he loves me, well atleast i hope he does, but he doesnt understand that everytime he doesn't call i go into this frenzy where i panic...thinking that me and him are over. becuz wen were talking he's always reassuring me that he loves me and he cares...but wen hes not here to say it i only have my friends words...and they count for nothing becuz theyve said it in the past and i still end up getting hurt. So even though i love my friends to death they have the worst judgement in guys ive ever met. Brandon is all i have in ym life right now. Even my school work which used to be awesome has seemed to gone down....really far. I dont evne want to g2 school anymore i only go for him. I hate coming home bcuz i have to go hours without him. I've devoted my whole life to him and hes only devoted 1/50th of his life to me. I just want him to understand how much he means to me. He's not even gunna read this becuz he doesnt go online. But i want everyone who's reading this to understand that living my life isnt easy. I may be a spoiled little girl who gets whatever she wants from mommy and daddy and seems to be happy and hyper and good all the time....but if you lived one day in my head i guarntee ud kill urself. The thoughts i have to put up with are absolutely annoying. I cant even go a day without crying becuz of them. i don't even mean to it just happens. I try to tell myself that everything is going to be alright and in the end ill be happy...but i end up telling myself that i suck at life and i deserve to be miserable. and thats why i am the way i am...i guess wat im trying to say is i miss Brandon...i need to so bad no1 understands how much im dieing...
I love him dont u understand, id give my life for him....no matter what he wanted...id give it to him...
I LOVE BRANDON MOSKWA...if you cant get over that...then you can fuck off becuz i dont care wat u think..