Fic: The road of Destiny (7/?)f
Another two weeks had come and gone since I had been left alone. Two weeks since Matthew had finally had enough of my games and left, taking our daughter with him. Two weeks since I heard Molly’s cartoons in the morning and smelled her bubble gum scented shampoo when I took a shower. Two weeks since I heard her laughter and felt her tight hugs when I came home from work and kissed her goodnight after bedtime stories. It had been two weeks since I tripped over Matt’s shoes in the doorway and smelled his coffee percolating as I made it, because I knew how much he needed it in the morning even though I personally couldn’t stand the stuff. Two weeks since I woke up to his good morning kisses and heard his soft snores in my ear at night and felt his arms sneak around me while I cooked dinner or did the dishes when he thought Molly wasn’t looking.
I never realized how long fourteen days really are until I had to live them without Matthew and Molly.
The apartment I had called home for two years was now a cold, barren new world, as unfamiliar as the landscape of Mars. I could barely stand to be home for long enough to take a quick shower, change into clean clothes, or at least less filthy clothes, and maybe catch a few hours of sleep if I was lucky. I called Matthew’s cell phone every day, every hour, desperately trying to get in contact with him. I just needed to know that he and Molly were safe, needed the chance to beg him to come home to me. To plead with him that I needed them, that I couldn’t do this without them; I needed him. He never picked up his phone or answered any of my million messages.
I went to Peter for help but he insisted that he had no idea where Matthew and Molly were, nor did he know how to get a hold of them. He couldn’t find them because I had never allowed him close enough to Molly to absorb her ability. Of course, he only told me all this after he read my mind to see whether or not I was still working with Bennet.
And I was.
Work was the only part of my life that contained any sort of hope. I worked non-stop, spending more and more time in the lab each day. It had paid off. I was just one breakthrough away from creating this new strain of virus. Unfortunately my new work habits gained the attention of Bob and it reached the point where he finally confronted me on it. He sent Julie (Annie?) to the lab early one morning to “collect” me.
“Mr. Bishop says to tell you to just go right in. Don’t even bother knocking,” she informed me when we reached his office, not even bothering to look up from the nail she was diligently inspecting to avoid looking at me.
I knocked anyways, cautiously entering when Bob yelled to me, “Come right in Mohinder.”
“You wanted to see me?” I asked hesitantly, sitting down in the seat he motioned to with a blithe wave of his hand.
“Yes actually, I was hoping to talk to you about work,” he said, steepling his fingers and regarding me with a pensive expression, “You’ve been spending more time at the lab than usual. You didn’t leave until after one this morning and were back in by six. As much as I admire your work ethic Mohinder, I have to question the sudden change in behavior.”
I had been preparing for this confrontation for a couple days, knowing that it was only a matter of time before Bob caught on.
“I’ve been working on the virus and have made some substantial progress, as you can see in the reports I’ve been preparing for you. I’m very close to pinpointing the exact gene on the virus’ genetic code that codes for the physical effects that eventually kill the infected individual. I’m just afraid of missing something that could help us,” I lied smoothly.
However, this wasn’t sufficient argument to convince Bob enough to deter him from his suspicions, “As delighted as I am with your wonderful progress, and I don’t doubt that it is at least part of the reason you’ve been working so hard, I can’t help but feel that maybe there’s something more to the story. We’re all friends here Mohinder, if you you’re having problems or just need a friendly ear, I’m always here for you.”
I floundered for a moment, thrown for a loop by Bob’s unexpected concern, false concern of course, but concern nonetheless. I was expecting him to dance with glee (not literally, I hope) that I’m at last devoting the majority of my time to Company work. I was unsure of how to respond and it took me a minute to recover, but thankfully he provided me the out I was searching for.
“Is everything alright at home? Is it Molly? Is she having nightmares again,” he asked me.
Cue light bulb please. “No, no it’s not Molly. She is fine, perfect even. She is simply wonderful.” I paused for a moment, trying to look like I was struggling with myself before finally taking a deep breath and continuing. “I’m going to level with you Bob because as you said, we are friends and I feel like I should tell you everything. You deserve to know the whole truth. Matthew and I have been having some issues with our relationship.”
He blinked at me, surprise written across his face, “Mr. Parkman? What sort of problem could you two be having? Is he unhappy with your arrangement? Does he want to move out, get a place of his own? I was operating under the assumption that he was very much attached to Molly as well.”
“Oh no, he adores Molly. He loves her like a daughter; we both do. It’s not that he wants to move out. He’s quite happy with our arrangement as is. That is the problem.”
“Oh, I’m sorry but I don’t see the problem with that. Unless you want him to move out.”
“Of course not! I’m extremely happy having Matthew living with me. The uh..Well you see, the problem is a bit complicated.” I made a show of tugging on my collar and playing with strands of my hair, using body language to convey an uncomfortable situation, “You see, our…well it’s our love life. I’m afraid we’ve fallen into a bit of a funk.”
“Love…life…?” he asked, eyes widening and darting back and forth.
“Well we uh, we just seem to be in a rut if you know what I mean. There’s no more romance, no more excitement. It’s all so vanilla and plain. It’s become dull and repetitive. The problem is, I’m the only one who seems to notice it. Matthew is quite content with things the way they are. I miss how we were in the beginning.” It was a physical effort not to smirk at his deer in the headlights expression, looking more distressed than he did when he heard that Maury Parkman was coming after him (which didn’t really take a lot). “In the beginning it was new and exhilarating. We were adventurous and loved trying new things and positions…”
Bob visibly blanched and he interrupted me, stuttering, “I-I..I’m sorry Mohinder, b-but I’m going to have to cut this conversation short. I just remembered a previous engagement.”
“Oh,” I said, “I apologize, I didn’t mean to take up so much your time,” I said quickly, stumbling to my feet.
“Don’t worry,” Bob assured me, leading me to the door with a hand on my shoulder, “That’s what friends are for you know. I hope you and Mr. Parkman manage to work things out.”
“I do too. And thank you for your concern,” I said, managing to sound as genuinely grateful as was expected of me.
Carol (Sara?) didn’t even lift her head to acknowledge my goodbye, a quick wave farewell as I was running for the door. I didn’t trust myself not to start laughing out loud at the absurdity of the whole situation. I was able to resist laughing until I made it back to my lab, bolting for the restroom. I allowed the snorting giggles to escape as I shut the door quickly and leaned against it. Bob’s face when I started talking about new positions and being adventurous was just priceless. I could only imagine what Matthew will say when I tell him tonight.
I suddenly froze, realizing what I was just thinking. The laughter died in a strangled gurgle in my chest as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Eyes still bright with merriment, lips upturned in a shadow of my former smile; all at the thought of what a man who no longer lived with me would think when I go home to an empty apartment. And now, instead of looking like someone who just shared a funny joke I looked like a man haunted by a previous happiness that I was trying to recapture with false smiles.
I sank onto the floor, leaning my back against the door with a heavy sigh. It was so easy to forget but so much easier to remember that there won’t be anybody waiting at home for me. No little girl hugs and squeals of delight to greet me. No strong arms and soft lips to welcome me home. I brought my knees up to my chest, leaning against them and taking deep breath as I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the hot tears from falling.
I will not cry. I refuse. When this is over and Sylar is truly dead and gone, I’ll win Matthew back and we will be a family again. There was no other way for it to happen.
I splashed some cold water on my face to help compose myself before heading back out. Even though the cameras had been turned off a long time ago, only turning on when I trip them, anyone could just stop in and I wasn’t particularly inclined to face Elle with red eyes. I spent the rest of the day working until around eleven when Bennet appeared.
“How’s everything going?” he asked immediately, nodding to the computer in front of me.
“We’re close,” I answered shortly.
“How soon will it be ready?” he persisted.
“A week, couple days maybe. Why are you suddenly so impatient?” I asked warily.
“Sylar will be arriving sooner than expected,” he answered nonchalantly.
“What do you mean? Ho much sooner?” I fired back.
“He’ll be arriving in about two days.”
“Two days! That’s not enough time Noah. The virus won’t be completed by then. You told me I still had another two weeks before we had to worry about Sylar,” I said, beginning to pace frantically. The plan that has been falling into place so nicely was now just as nicely falling apart.
“Well then I suppose you’ll just have to work harder.”
I answered him with a glare, never pausing in my pacing.
“This brings us to our next problem. When you confronted Sylar, we were supposed to have our Haitian friend present to make the going a bit easier. With the change in times he won’t be able to make it.”
“You’re fucking kidding me? Please tell me you’re fucking kidding me!” I exploded in a rare bout of expletives.
“I’ll be on the street in case things go wrong,” Bennet said in a poor attempt to alleviate my worry.
It didn’t work.
“That makes me feel so much safer thank you. Knowing that you’re six flights down is a great comfort. If things do fly out the window he’ll have killed me three times over and be in Canada by the time you get up there.”
“Listen to me Mohinder. Just because you have to face Sylar alone doesn’t mean the plan has changed or that it won’t succeed.”
“He won’t be facing Sylar alone,” a familiar voice came from behind us.
I turned to see Matthew standing in the doorway and I almost fainted with relief to see him. I felt my knees wobble with the force of it and grabbed the desk next to me for support.
“Mohinder won’t be alone,” Matthew said again, starting towards us and stopping in front of Bennet.
“Sylar will know you’re there. He’ll be able to hear that Mohinder isn’t alone. The whole operation hinges on him thinking Mohinder is alone in the apartment,” Bennet argued, annoyance flashing across his face as his hands clenched in a visible sign of frustration.
“He’ll be hearing everybody. He won’t be able to distinguish a heartbeat from one apartment to the next. I am not going to leave Mohinder alone with the bastard. Deal with it,” Matthew said, finality in his voice sounding like the clash of the judge’s gavel.
Bennet narrowed his eyes at Matthew and for a moment I thought he was going to argue but in the end just nodded his agreement. Matthew nodded back before turning to me. I felt all the happiness and relief at him being there fly out of my body. His eyes were cold and he didn’t return my hesitant smile.
“Let’s go Mohinder. We’re going home.”
I nodded immediately and moved to shut the computer down when the door banging open had us all jumping and whipping around to see what had caused the sudden noise. Matthew and Bennet had their guns drawn and aimed at the intruder.
Bob.
He looked like death warmed over twice. He was pale and shaking, looking confused and in shock. His eyes were red and raw from crying. He looked nothing like the cool, confident Bob I had met with just this afternoon. Matthew and Bennet slowly lowered their weapons at his outstretched hand, sharing a glance of mutual distrust.
“Bob? What’s happened?” I asked, stepping forward in concern. Matthew held a hand to stop me, shaking his head at me.
“Elle’s dead,” Bob muttered.
“What?” I asked stunned.
“Elle is dead,” he said with more force.
“W-what happened?” I asked hoarsely.
He stumbled in, sitting down heavily in chair. “It was Sylar. We got a report from one of our contacts in Wyoming that he was seen traveling through the state. I sent Elle down to check it out. He must have been waiting for her. He…he killed her, stole her ability. Our contact just called to tell me they found her body. He..He killed her, he killed my little girl,” Bob said.
He suddenly let out a ragged sob, hunching down as he started crying. I pushed Matthew’s hand away and rushed over to him, awkwardly patting his back and making shushing noises. Just as suddenly, he sat up straight, dragging a hand over his eyes to wipe the tears away. His former grief was transformed into steely determination.
“How close are you really to adjusting the virus?” he asked me.
I looked at Matthew and Bennet questioningly. I had no idea how to respond.
“Well…” I began.
“That’s not what he’s working on,” Matthew said, interrupting me. Bob shot me a confused look while Bennet glared hatefully at Matthew.
“Why don’t you explain to Bob just what’s really going on,” Matthew suggested.
“Yes Mohinder, why don’t you?” Bob echoed.
I glanced helpless at Bennet before turning to Bob, “I’ve actually been trying to create a strain of the virus that will specifically attack Sylar’s genetic code. Instead of sparing him the physical symptoms, it will kill him faster. The timetable from infection to death should be about four days, maybe a week if he’s lucky. It’s a more virulent strain; he should feel the physical symptoms at the moment of infection. Fever, chills, as well as loss of ability. It can be transmitted directly or through blood to blood contact. But it won’t infect anyone else. Even if I were to give you a shot of the virus it would be as if I gave you a shot of saline. It would have no effect on you at all. Bennet and I’ve been working on this lay for a month now.”
He was silent, tilting his head to look at me, brows furrowed in thought. I was fully expecting a jail cell with no window or key at best and a bullet and shallow grave at worst.
“How close are you to finishing it?” he asked finally.
I blinked and shook my head a bit. For the second time that day Bob had me surprised and at a loss for words. I shook my head again to clear my thoughts.
“Very. It’s very likely I will be able to finish it by the time Sylar makes it to New York City.”
He nodded, “Good. The Company will provide any support and back-up you need.”
I nodded, looking at Matthew in desperate bewilderment.
What is going on here?
“Bennet can fill you in on everything,” Matthew said brusquely, “I’m getting Mohinder home so he can get some sleep.
“Good idea. He’ll work faster when he can concentrate better and we need him at the top of his game,” Bob said, nodding at us.
Matthew grabbed my bag, tossing my stuff inside carelessly while I shut the computer, silence reigning as Bob and Bennet left before us. I kept glancing at him the whole way home, wishing so very much that I could read his mind. I wanted to know what was going on inside his head, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. What if he just came back to make sure the plan worked and Sylar was killed? What if he really didn’t love me anymore and had every intention of disappearing after we finished this? What if I never saw him or Molly again? Could I live without them?
“Mohinder!” Matthew yelled all of a sudden, “Will you please stop thinking for one second.”
I started, bowing my head down so I didn’t have to face him, humiliation and hurt coloring my face red and quickening my steps. I shoved my hands in my pockets, walking a little faster up the stairs so I could reach the relative safety of the apartment sooner.
I heard Matthew sigh behind me, “Mohinder,” he called tiredly.
I saw his hand reaching for me out of the corner of my eye and sped up. Even though I had been dreaming of the day I would have him back, I wasn’t ready for him to touch me yet.
“I’m assuming Molly’s not home,” I said gruffly, pulling the key from my pocket and unlocking the front door. I opened the door and let him go in first, old habits, before following him inside. I shut the door and made sure to fasten the row of chains, deadbolts, and locks before setting my bag on a kitchen chair and tossing my keys on the table.
“The milk in the fridge went bad last week,” Matthew commented.
“I haven’t been home much,” I replied, shrugging.
“I know. I’ve been watching you.”
I jerked my head to look at him, surprised and a little bit confused. He was watching me now, staring at me with those dark, intense eyes that always make me feel like he isn’t just looking at me, he’s looking right through me, into my soul. He was frowning but all the anger seemed to have drained out of him. He looked pale and worn, worry creasing the corners of his mouth and lack of sleep giving him dark circles under his eyes. Briefly I held in a bark of laughter at the fact that we must both look like a pair of sanatorium escapees with our haven’t-slept-in-days looks.
“You haven’t’ been sleeping,” I stated dumbly.
“I’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been sleeping either.”
I shrugged again, putting a damper on the butterflies that gathered in my stomach because he has to care about me to worry about me, “I’ve been working.”
Out of no where I realized how silly this was. Here we were, two people who spent two years as partners, co-parents, lovers, two people who meant the world to each other and we were reduced to short, clipped sentences. Instead of making up for lost time, getting to know each other again after so long, were facing each other across the room, each one afraid to make the first move.
“Matthew,” I whispered, taking a step towards him.
Then his arms were around me and his voice was in my ear, whispering endearments into my hair. My arms went around his neck, holding on tight and pressing my face into the curve of his shoulder. I breathed in his cherished scent, taking the gulping breaths of a man who just spent fourteen days drowning. He kissed my ear, my neck my jaw, my eyelids, soft, fluttering kisses that had me nearly in tears.
“I missed you so much,” I whispered.
“God, I missed you too Mohinder,” he whispered back.
I angled my face up, catching his lips against mine and grabbed his shirt to pull him closer. I moaned lightly into his mouth when he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue along my bottom lip in a silent plea for entry that I was helpless to deny. The kiss became desperate; a clash of tongues, teeth, and lips as we grabbed at each other, trying to get closer. Two weeks of longing and uncertainty and loneliness going into a single meeting of our lips and bodies. He drew back first, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against mine. We were both breathing heavy and I could feel each hard breath against my chest, could feel the beautiful, loved heart of his beating frantically against my palm.
“Please don’t leave me again,” I entreated him, closing my eyes against the tears that gathered behind my eyelids again.
He kissed me again, softer this time, just a gentle press of his lips against mine but it was all the assurance I needed. I sighed and leaned against him, laying my head against his shoulder. I never wanted to leave the safety and love of Matthew’s embrace ever again. For the first time in forever I felt at peace.
“Is Molly alright?” I finally asked, breaking the silence that surrounded us.
“Yeah, she’s with Peter’ family,” he said.
“I figured.”
“Come on,” Matthew said, separating all contact from me except for a clasp of my hand, “Lets get you to bed.”
I nodded and followed him, stripping down to just my boxers and sliding under the covers in anticipation of being with Matthew. It had been so long and I missed him so much. He surprised me by sliding in behind me. He draped an arm across my hip, pressing close against my back and kissing my shoulder softly.
“I meant to sleep Mohinder. As much as I missed you, it’s one o’clock n the morning and you need to get your rest. I never thought I’d ever hear myself say this but Bob was right, you need to sleep. It’s been too long since you had a good night’s sleep and you are going to need it tomorrow. Sylar is coming and he’s coming fast. We don’t have that much time and you need to finish the virus,” he said.
I sighed, knowing he was right but wanting him still.
“When this is over, you are going to take a vacation Mohinder. I don’t care where you go, just make sure it’s warm and a far away from here as possible.”
I smiled, snuggling back into Matthew’s chest and tangling my legs around his, “That sounds perfect.”
We were silent for a couple minutes and I thought he was asleep but I needed to ask him anyways. It had been bothering me since I saw him standing behind me and Bennet at the lab.
“Why did you change your mind Matthew?” I whispered my question in the dark.
I didn’t think he was going to answer until finally his voice cut through the shadows next to my ear, “I didn’t. I still think this is a mistake and I still want us to just pack up and get the hell out of Dodge. We can do it tonight. Pack a few bags and be wherever in the world we want by dawn; you, me, and Molly. You don’t have to do this Mohinder.”
“If you still felt that way, why did you come back?” I asked him, afraid of his answer but needing to know anyways.
“I just didn’t want to see you kill yourself Mohinder. I came back to protect you.”
“Is that all?”
He turned me around so I was against his chest and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, “I came back because I love you and need you to be safe Mohinder.”
“I will be Matthew. You just have to believe me.”
“I know you will be alright because I’m going to make sure of it.”
I smiled and shook my head, “You are hopeless Matthew.”
“Yeah, so I’ve been told. Now be quiet and get some sleep. We have a lot of work to do in the morning.
I nodded and pressed closer, leaning my head against his chest. I could feel his heart against my cheek as I fell asleep to the soft lullaby of his heartbeat.