Paint it Black; chapter 3

[crystal_marbles]

Title: Paint it Black 
Fandom: Glee
Rating:  R  
Pairings: Blaine/Kurt, Finn/Rachel 
Warnings/Themes: Rape, victim-blaming & asexuality 
Word count:  1437 (this chapter) // 5000+ in total.  
Summary: In the aftermath of a sexual assault Kurt struggles to recover while coming to terms with the fact that not everyone is equal in the eyes of the law.

Comments

[nothingtoprovex]

I'm not afraid to talk about it in the open...it actually helps me deal with it.

I was bullied a lot in high school. I'm biracial, my mother is Jewish, I'm bisexual (possibly pansexual, because I have had a crush on a few genderqueer kids), and I also happened to be short and overweight.

A friend of mine was home sick for a month with mono, so I went to go bring her her weekly assignments, so she wouldn't be behind on work. They were doing construction on the street I used to cut down, and we have those weird not-exactly-woods-but-its-dense-thickets-i-guess? between areas, so I went to cut through there to get to her house. I saw one of the boys from the high school football team there. I waved and went on my way, but he grabbed me from behind, tried to get my pants down. He was trying to kiss me and stuff, but I kicked him in the nuts and ran.

It wasn't rape, and it wasn't anything more than an attempt, but it left me with a nervous tick about people surprising me from behind, and made me really empathetic towards people with similar or worse stories than mine, because the fear is still there, regardless of how it ended. I had depression starting since 8 years old, so this, mixed with further traumatizing high school episodes now leaves me on an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, but I do what I can to help people. I'm actually a minister in a Pagan church, so I do what I can to help others :]

My at the time boyfriend pitched a fit, to put it lightly. He threatened to drive up from Pennsylvania (I live in Massachusetts) to hurt the kid. I see him in the way you wrote Blaine and it makes me smile, because Nathan helped me out so much to cope, and it's nice to see a positive gay relationship with that type of support.

:]

[crystal_marbles]

Ugh, that sounds awfull. I'm slighlty agoraphobic as it is and I can't imagine what i would have done if I was attacked like that on the street. I'd probably never leave my apartment again. Though good on you for kicking him! That must have taken a lot of guts!

As for me it was more longterm. I was sexually abused as a very young child by a family member as such I was a little worried about this coming out right. I've never really had to deal with the "shock" factor or sudden change that kind of attack would bring. To me it was a (horrifying) constant in my life as a opposed to an interruption so the mental issues and problems are a little different from what happened to you(and Kurt).

What I'm basically trying to say is that I'm glad you think it's realistic although I'm sad you had to experience it to be able to tell. It's also totally cool that your working to help people despite your own issues. And your x(?)boyfriend sounds awesome. =)