update!
school's over! I couldn't wait to get out of that place. I recall collapsing in Shaunagh's arms in the last week of school... Junior year was refreshing. It sounds like such a soda commercial saying that, but it's true. I've made a lot of friends and found a lot of support along the way. I've grown SO much and found my faith. I'll never forget this year. So many firsts and so much more understanding.
so much for in-depth year analysis. anyways, here's my meaningful update.
I can't stop flirting. I've self-declared the season and a half [spring into all of summer], or so to be my self-fulfillment time. I need to find out where to go to college- yes, I'm a junior who hasn't started college searching. I have no future as of now. I want to be able to come out and have confidence in my voice. I hold myself back. Experience breeds men. This is how I plan to find myself. I will deny myself. Stop in my tracks and turn around. I'm watching my words and editing my actions. I'm asking God to direct me. Thing is.. I can't stop flirting. I'm trying to be independant and unattached, consistently out with my girlfriends when I'm out, and freee. But I can't stop flirting. I don't want a boyfriend right now. I don't fancy random hookups. I HATE hurting people. Maybe this is my nature that I haven't been able to see, along with the rest of me I'd lost in my relationship spree. In that span of time, the spring of freshman year to spring of junior year, all that was ever on my mind was a guy. At the breakup of my last relationship, I found myself stranded. I didn't know who I was anymore. I just kept giving and giving, burning and wanting until I was no longer me. So this is my mission. This is what I need to do.
so much for in-depth year analysis. anyways, here's my meaningful update.
I can't stop flirting. I've self-declared the season and a half [spring into all of summer], or so to be my self-fulfillment time. I need to find out where to go to college- yes, I'm a junior who hasn't started college searching. I have no future as of now. I want to be able to come out and have confidence in my voice. I hold myself back. Experience breeds men. This is how I plan to find myself. I will deny myself. Stop in my tracks and turn around. I'm watching my words and editing my actions. I'm asking God to direct me. Thing is.. I can't stop flirting. I'm trying to be independant and unattached, consistently out with my girlfriends when I'm out, and freee. But I can't stop flirting. I don't want a boyfriend right now. I don't fancy random hookups. I HATE hurting people. Maybe this is my nature that I haven't been able to see, along with the rest of me I'd lost in my relationship spree. In that span of time, the spring of freshman year to spring of junior year, all that was ever on my mind was a guy. At the breakup of my last relationship, I found myself stranded. I didn't know who I was anymore. I just kept giving and giving, burning and wanting until I was no longer me. So this is my mission. This is what I need to do.