(no subject)
i dont know why i pour my heart out to these things, because people dont tend to respond. why? i have no idea.
so.
my boyfriend (i guess hes not that anymore?) tried to kill me tonight.
everything was so perfect, and i would sit around and think about how much i loved him.
and then all of a sudden, he flipped out on me.
and i dont know why.
i said i love you. he said no.
and then he freaked out.
i have. absolutely. no idea what happened. last night he told his parents we were getting married. he held me all night, he kissed me and told me he loved me every five minutes. and then i tried to talk to him and he pushed me away with a knife in his hand and pushed me up against a wall, telling me to get the fuck out of his house and how he doesnt love anyone.
out. of no where.
i dont know what to do. part of me wishes he really hurt me, but i dont know why.
but my amazing friends drove all the way from boston to come get me. and i love them.
im sore. everywhere. not just in the yeah im sad i want to kill myself way, either.
my abs hurt. im sore from sex. my neck hurts. everything hurts. from sex, i guess??
was one night with me all he really wanted? whyd he say 'i love you' so much?
whyd he tell his parents that they should get used to me being there?
whyd he flip out at me?
and i fucking love jayy, too.
i just dont understand. i didnt do anything. nothing happened. he just decided to hate me....?
i wonder if hes gonna call in a couple days. and act like nothing happened.
we waited so long to see eachother... we had a relationship with the phone for so long... then i come home and one day later this happens?
im so lost. and im so hurt.
i miss him already... i miss who he was before he freaked. i want to be with that guy who held me so close it didnt matter that the room was 20 degrees. and who said 'i love you baby' every 5 minutes.
i love him so much i kinda wish he had killed me.
and now i dont know what to do.
so.
my boyfriend (i guess hes not that anymore?) tried to kill me tonight.
everything was so perfect, and i would sit around and think about how much i loved him.
and then all of a sudden, he flipped out on me.
and i dont know why.
i said i love you. he said no.
and then he freaked out.
i have. absolutely. no idea what happened. last night he told his parents we were getting married. he held me all night, he kissed me and told me he loved me every five minutes. and then i tried to talk to him and he pushed me away with a knife in his hand and pushed me up against a wall, telling me to get the fuck out of his house and how he doesnt love anyone.
out. of no where.
i dont know what to do. part of me wishes he really hurt me, but i dont know why.
but my amazing friends drove all the way from boston to come get me. and i love them.
im sore. everywhere. not just in the yeah im sad i want to kill myself way, either.
my abs hurt. im sore from sex. my neck hurts. everything hurts. from sex, i guess??
was one night with me all he really wanted? whyd he say 'i love you' so much?
whyd he tell his parents that they should get used to me being there?
whyd he flip out at me?
and i fucking love jayy, too.
i just dont understand. i didnt do anything. nothing happened. he just decided to hate me....?
i wonder if hes gonna call in a couple days. and act like nothing happened.
we waited so long to see eachother... we had a relationship with the phone for so long... then i come home and one day later this happens?
im so lost. and im so hurt.
i miss him already... i miss who he was before he freaked. i want to be with that guy who held me so close it didnt matter that the room was 20 degrees. and who said 'i love you baby' every 5 minutes.
i love him so much i kinda wish he had killed me.
and now i dont know what to do.