Mar 03, 2005 18:53
First things first, no sympathy
I have replaced my social life with Paintball and working out.
i ahve realized now that i have replaced basically reality with paintball. ill be sitting there in class wishing time away so then i can go to paintball.
And this made me relize that i am alone emotinally. I have noone to love. i love paintball. i have substituted a girl friend with paintball. and this sickens me. Its like a disease.
I feel like ethan says. 3rd wheel. What i had going for me (for as much as it was) is gone becuasee of my isolation. I really want a gf or need one for that fact because its eating away at me. I said stuff like this b4 but this is eating me like a fuckin disease.
and this has started to affect me more recently. more and more.
I was Made to Destroy, Built to Kill
ppl see the outside coating at school, happy, hyper, weird,
the inside is shady, sick, and alone