I'm deeply indebted to the people who commented on my previous post, and to the other posts and discussions that have sprung up in recent days on this subject.
I came across the concept of fandom as a queer female space a while back, and found it very intriguing and productive. I wasn't around for the initial formulations of the concept, and I haven
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Arguably my queerest experience in LJ fandom is repeatedly "coming out" as male -- I'm not sure who doesn't know, and whether they've been actively/consciously perceiving me as default female, and what this information does or would mean to them and how it might change the dynamics between us. I'm trying to find opportunities to identify as male more frequently and routinely, without coming across as insisting that everybody treat me as male-and-don't-you-forget-it! or claim some kind of special status.
But LJ female fandom has been very good to me, and please shoot me if you ever catch me whining about exclusion or marginality or so-called male-bashing! Hopefully I will be good to LJ female fandom in turn, or at least do a better job of avoiding being bad....
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It does change things. I'm not sure how exactly, but yeah, it does. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, either, but it's definitely a different comfort-level, and I see myself mentally moving subjects into different categories. Huh.
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Much as I'd love to think that my gender shouldn't make any difference, and divest myself of any associations with male privilege & sexism etc., I don't really get to decide that -- not offline, and certainly not in a primarily female online community. And I know that my gender does make a difference in my life and to the people around me, in all kinds of ways that I can't necessarily see or control or counteract.
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Two years and a whole lot of metafandom-ed posts later, I'm still having this issue; more so in some ways because it's easier to assume that everybody knows.
And just *nods* to the entire comment.
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