crappy day
well right now im depressed... i dont know what to do. something serious is wrong with my bf. somethings bothering him and hes not telling me what. and he doesnt want to talk about or tell me. and im pretty sure that hes mad now that i went to his best friend asking him if he knew anything. yesturday i talked to mark maybe for 5 or 10 min but there was barely any talking, and as much as 5 min the day before and the 2 days before that maybe 2 min total... and over the past 4 days ive called maaany times before hes picked up and most times he hasnt... i know its not me, its prob something personal like with his family or something, but hes not going to tell me... his gf! and i think ive annoyed him with my persistance in trying to find out so im gonna drop it. he said "no one can help me. its just one of those things thats gonna take me awhile to get out of. and dont go tim about me anymore. im going to sleep. call me tomorrow." after reading this i cried, yeah i know may seem stupid but u dont know how bad it made me feel, like shit. it sounded so harsh and i felt like i had done something really horrible to make him mad at me or something. but what else am i supposed to do? wtf now that i think of it, it makes me a little mad that actually said that to me, i only care about him and love him. im not going to idly stand by while hes depressed. i want to do something for him, i want him to talk to me. but if he chooses not to theres nothing i can do... i feel like hes avoiding me. whatever the problem is, is causing him to isolate himself from not just me but his other friends too. and i wish he just knew how much hes hurting me by doing this. i cant stop thinking of it, of whats bothering him and i feel guilty for what??? going to his best friend for help... i dont even know if i wanna call him today after that message, cuz what he said really hurt me and i understand how hes feeling but that was messed up.....