My summer Vacation, by Vicious Kahn
Hey there everybody. My name is Vicious Kahn. For those of you familiar with me, you already know I'm a bloodthirsty savage who plays by his own rules. But, even a guy who has killed thousands of helpless woodland animals and saved countless ancient civilizations that later turned out to be evil deserves a break. That's why i took a vacation in a little-known place called Tyria. I even took a few pictures. So, grab a bucket full of popcorn or bloody oats, or whatever the hell it is you eat, and enjoy the slides.
This is when i first got to Tyria. The sun was hot, but at least i had that cool n00b armor to help out. Damn my skills sucked.
I guess this was supposed to be some sort of ancient magic protrusion. Just kinda looked gay to me...
That night, the locals made me a fine meat stew. It was so tender, i just couldn't stop eating...
So, the big landmark in these parts was this supposed "Magic Flying Castle." I even had to wade through a sea of enemies just to look at the damn thing, and then when i get there, it isn't even flying at all! You can clearly see that it's been chained to that mountain. Whatever. At least the cam got a pic of my good side for once.
They let me ring in the new year by firing a catapult at their allies, thereby starting a new war. I guess it's good for their economy or something.
Here i am dancing at this outdoor rave with this chick named Friday Lazarus Long. She ignored me all night, so i never found out if the name was just for show or not.
Another phallic-looking landmark. Freud would have loved it here.
I've officially stood between the largest breasts ever to grace a fallen statue. How many warriors can say that?
I eventually met up with a mage and a necromancer, and as usual they wanted me out in front. What wasn't so normal was that every now and then they would all burst into flame. It's the little differences.
So, there was this dragon-ghost who occasionally gave us cryptic messages that didn't matter at all. Seriously, sometimes i think mages just have too much damn time on their hands...
... so we decided to kill the bitch and steal her eggs. Not only did we have the best omelette's EVER the next morning, but slaying a 3,000 year old dragon looks great on my resume.
We even had a dance party to celebrate the occasion.
Eat my ASS, you crazy dragon bitch.
Vicious Kahn. Protector of Tyria. That pretty much sums it up. Thanks for watching!
Now, back to the daily grind...
This is when i first got to Tyria. The sun was hot, but at least i had that cool n00b armor to help out. Damn my skills sucked.
I guess this was supposed to be some sort of ancient magic protrusion. Just kinda looked gay to me...
That night, the locals made me a fine meat stew. It was so tender, i just couldn't stop eating...
So, the big landmark in these parts was this supposed "Magic Flying Castle." I even had to wade through a sea of enemies just to look at the damn thing, and then when i get there, it isn't even flying at all! You can clearly see that it's been chained to that mountain. Whatever. At least the cam got a pic of my good side for once.
They let me ring in the new year by firing a catapult at their allies, thereby starting a new war. I guess it's good for their economy or something.
Here i am dancing at this outdoor rave with this chick named Friday Lazarus Long. She ignored me all night, so i never found out if the name was just for show or not.
Another phallic-looking landmark. Freud would have loved it here.
I've officially stood between the largest breasts ever to grace a fallen statue. How many warriors can say that?
I eventually met up with a mage and a necromancer, and as usual they wanted me out in front. What wasn't so normal was that every now and then they would all burst into flame. It's the little differences.
So, there was this dragon-ghost who occasionally gave us cryptic messages that didn't matter at all. Seriously, sometimes i think mages just have too much damn time on their hands...
... so we decided to kill the bitch and steal her eggs. Not only did we have the best omelette's EVER the next morning, but slaying a 3,000 year old dragon looks great on my resume.
We even had a dance party to celebrate the occasion.
Eat my ASS, you crazy dragon bitch.
Vicious Kahn. Protector of Tyria. That pretty much sums it up. Thanks for watching!
Now, back to the daily grind...