(no subject)
The cloud of negativity has lifted and I think that negative outlook I have constantly been bombarded with, is beginning to come apart. Largely thanks to L, who has been a great cheerleader and advisor; plus a huge positive influence to counteract that negative one that I've been getting from elsewhere.
But I'm feeling a lot more hopeful now. I can see myself having a sort of life here. I've gradually been reconciling myself to the fact that I was going to be here permanently, yet when I came home, everything just felt so strange and out of place. And I missed my climbing buddies.
But more doors are opening up now. I can see myself settling into work-life here. I remember that I did enjoy my internship, even though it was hard work. I know I can handle the late hours and the lack of sleep. I can do this. Work hard, play hard. Just find the right job that will make me not resent being at work. As L says, you can enjoy your work, you know. I was initially a little apprehensive that work would take over and I wouldn't have time for climbing and photography (well, for photography, it's not so much time, but when the muse hits). But if you love something enough, you will make time for it. I know I have the will to make that happen. Somehow bloody-mindedness seems to come together with mountaineers. ;)
I've had my fun. It's time to put the past in the past and look forward into the future. It's been a great year, although painful with all the goodbyes. But it's time to move onto the next stage.
But I'm feeling a lot more hopeful now. I can see myself having a sort of life here. I've gradually been reconciling myself to the fact that I was going to be here permanently, yet when I came home, everything just felt so strange and out of place. And I missed my climbing buddies.
But more doors are opening up now. I can see myself settling into work-life here. I remember that I did enjoy my internship, even though it was hard work. I know I can handle the late hours and the lack of sleep. I can do this. Work hard, play hard. Just find the right job that will make me not resent being at work. As L says, you can enjoy your work, you know. I was initially a little apprehensive that work would take over and I wouldn't have time for climbing and photography (well, for photography, it's not so much time, but when the muse hits). But if you love something enough, you will make time for it. I know I have the will to make that happen. Somehow bloody-mindedness seems to come together with mountaineers. ;)
I've had my fun. It's time to put the past in the past and look forward into the future. It's been a great year, although painful with all the goodbyes. But it's time to move onto the next stage.