(no subject)
7/31/05
it's a taste of nine to five. just a fraction of the life i long to (not) have. every minute, every hour, is as daunting as the nights you laid beside me. our sweat told different stories than what we knew was true. the chemicals had backfired. there was no love for you and yet being the skilled liar that i was and that i am, i convinced one million people that i could not, would not, live without.
lying next to me,
i'm lying next to you.
i'm lying to you.
i'm lying to me, next.
dear woldly fire: save me from oblivion. another tortured love song about not love at all. and all the people that i've hurt in your name. they say it's just a game and they're right. i lived for pain like some masochistic dreamer whilst my best friends floated farther. sinking deeper.
to the afflictions that i tried with all my heart to shut out: you were my drug. there is a void of addiction in my skin that i try violently to fill. with social shots of gin. and it burns as it goes down, crashing waves into my system. no bread inside, i stomach all i can.
and as i vomit out the window, the convulsions are for you. i never said it was for real. just let it slip away. like my health. and my drive. my brain and my talents. you knew the best and worst of me. keep it locked away. i never want to see that again. ever.
the love, the spark, it's lost for good but this sickness still ensues. you're gravity that grounds me to the promisies we made. the tortures that we bade. in passion, lovely and torrid, you're nothing but a knave. but i love you. and always will.
to the sutures that lie dormant:
i'm about to rip you out.
we've been friends and lovers.
but it's time that i move on.
and heal without the scars.
the only ointment for my fleshwound
is truth and truth itself
so it's time to find it now.
How silly.
it's a taste of nine to five. just a fraction of the life i long to (not) have. every minute, every hour, is as daunting as the nights you laid beside me. our sweat told different stories than what we knew was true. the chemicals had backfired. there was no love for you and yet being the skilled liar that i was and that i am, i convinced one million people that i could not, would not, live without.
lying next to me,
i'm lying next to you.
i'm lying to you.
i'm lying to me, next.
dear woldly fire: save me from oblivion. another tortured love song about not love at all. and all the people that i've hurt in your name. they say it's just a game and they're right. i lived for pain like some masochistic dreamer whilst my best friends floated farther. sinking deeper.
to the afflictions that i tried with all my heart to shut out: you were my drug. there is a void of addiction in my skin that i try violently to fill. with social shots of gin. and it burns as it goes down, crashing waves into my system. no bread inside, i stomach all i can.
and as i vomit out the window, the convulsions are for you. i never said it was for real. just let it slip away. like my health. and my drive. my brain and my talents. you knew the best and worst of me. keep it locked away. i never want to see that again. ever.
the love, the spark, it's lost for good but this sickness still ensues. you're gravity that grounds me to the promisies we made. the tortures that we bade. in passion, lovely and torrid, you're nothing but a knave. but i love you. and always will.
to the sutures that lie dormant:
i'm about to rip you out.
we've been friends and lovers.
but it's time that i move on.
and heal without the scars.
the only ointment for my fleshwound
is truth and truth itself
so it's time to find it now.
How silly.