I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul, but don't think twice, it's alright
Hot showers. They are the epitome of feeling good. They make you feel cleansed, physically and mentally.
It was actually Dave who first introduced me to that concept.
Any time I was at his place and was frustrated or angry at him and the situation and him not being able to choose just one person to love or him not giving me what I thought I deserved in a relationship, he would say to me, "go have a hot shower, it will make you feel better."
And so I would.
And I would return with a fresh outlook and a better sense of self.
I'm almost certain it was in a hot shower that I decided I had to get the fuck away from him, lol.
The irony of life is beautiful indeed.
In the shower today I thought about a lot of things. I thought about me. I thought about Russ. I thought about her. I thought about my friends. I thought about my parents. I thought about this post. I thought about who I am. I thought about where I'm going in life. I thought about where I've been. I thought about where Russ has been. I thought about where Russ is right now. I thought about where I am right now. I thought about our differences. I thought about our similarities. I thought about our hearts and our minds. I thought about who I was before I met him and loved him, before I met and fell in love with any man for that matter. What happened to that person? Where did she go? I thought about my insecurities. I thought about my faults. I thought about what I could do to change them. I thought about treasuring and cherishing who I am. I thought about treasuring and cherishing who everyone is, just as they are. I thought about opening myself to let people come and go from my life as they please. What would I have to do to allow myself to be open? Would I have to detach myself from people? Would I have to be willing to deal with a tremendous amount of pain and still smile? Isn't that what I've been doing by letting myself love so openly? If not, what the hell have I been doing all this time?
Least to say, I thought about a lot of things. A lot of which I didn't have answers for.
What I did have, was hot water. About 45 minutes of it to be exact.
I'm going to live my life. I'm going to go get things done. Will you and I end up together? I don't know. I'm going to take your advice and leave it to fate, because pushing and trying and straining to reach out for your fingertips isn't getting either of us anywhere. It won't change what happens between you and her.
I need to find myself and get my life in order.
It was actually Dave who first introduced me to that concept.
Any time I was at his place and was frustrated or angry at him and the situation and him not being able to choose just one person to love or him not giving me what I thought I deserved in a relationship, he would say to me, "go have a hot shower, it will make you feel better."
And so I would.
And I would return with a fresh outlook and a better sense of self.
I'm almost certain it was in a hot shower that I decided I had to get the fuck away from him, lol.
The irony of life is beautiful indeed.
In the shower today I thought about a lot of things. I thought about me. I thought about Russ. I thought about her. I thought about my friends. I thought about my parents. I thought about this post. I thought about who I am. I thought about where I'm going in life. I thought about where I've been. I thought about where Russ has been. I thought about where Russ is right now. I thought about where I am right now. I thought about our differences. I thought about our similarities. I thought about our hearts and our minds. I thought about who I was before I met him and loved him, before I met and fell in love with any man for that matter. What happened to that person? Where did she go? I thought about my insecurities. I thought about my faults. I thought about what I could do to change them. I thought about treasuring and cherishing who I am. I thought about treasuring and cherishing who everyone is, just as they are. I thought about opening myself to let people come and go from my life as they please. What would I have to do to allow myself to be open? Would I have to detach myself from people? Would I have to be willing to deal with a tremendous amount of pain and still smile? Isn't that what I've been doing by letting myself love so openly? If not, what the hell have I been doing all this time?
Least to say, I thought about a lot of things. A lot of which I didn't have answers for.
What I did have, was hot water. About 45 minutes of it to be exact.
I'm going to live my life. I'm going to go get things done. Will you and I end up together? I don't know. I'm going to take your advice and leave it to fate, because pushing and trying and straining to reach out for your fingertips isn't getting either of us anywhere. It won't change what happens between you and her.
I need to find myself and get my life in order.