May 11, 2003 00:07
i watched Green Mile tonight.there's somethin about that movie that makes me feel so good to watch it, but so sad in the best but worst kind of way.i dont know why they never fired percy.or beat the shit out of him. anyhow, i like it. i cry ever time i see it. it's good for those days when you need an outlet to enable the electricity to flow. but fuck, i'd say the cord to my tear maker has been tampered with, so the ducts dont work quite right i reckon. just kind of waywardly goes off in me when i got nothin on my mind of any importance. then the important things dont seem to matter. if only they had a repair man for that type shit. damn them chemicals. my brain hates itself. it ought not release happy and sad chemicals both at once. im a puss. cant handle that shit. i can handle being just sad, or just happy, but fuck, when the lobes go to war, it aint a pretty picture inside my head. mostly because it's senseless shit that would only go through a shallow mind such as the above. i wish i had some spirits to believe in or some shit to keep me some faith. like the indians. they got their spirits and pretty, long hair and drums and beads and they dont care about anything but the things that our culture preaches to be important. they know whats goin on.
im going to go admire my rarely soft hair in a pool of vanity where i take a five minute swim every day. sometimes i stay there for too long and the matter soaks in. that, and i feel the need to brush my teeth.