(no subject)
I feel like I am dying again.
I regret moving to Georgia.
Well not entirely because I love Adam but..
I resent every other damned person I've met there.
Somehow I bet I would have enjoyed myself more if I had done every drug I had been offered.
Part of me doesnt understand why I didn't.
The other half knows its because of the people who offered it.
Especially the people who were nice to my face but worked behind my back to fulfill their own false illusions of having some sort of crown.
"she made you sound so evil" etc. etc.
Southerners disgust me now.
Why did I let such a shallow cult of hollow beings injure my heart?
Not all drug addicts are like them I try to remind myself..
yeah right.
I'm just so sick of being hurt.
Why did I bother to hold out my heart?
I just wanted a friend.
A real friend.
Maybe if he had been to begin with I wouldn't have felt the need to search.
It's not entirely his fault.. but I mean it was a lonely 6 months.
God I wish I could just blow Georgia up.
Every last poser/scenester and or wacked out narrow minded dumbass too.
It's not like the world would be lacking in intelligence, love,peace, understanding or true badass motherfuckers afterwards.
Stupid bumfucks and their pretentious bullshit. Eat my shit.
I'd make every single one of them dig their own graves if I could.
Oh wait it doesn't matter cause they're doing that on their own anyways.
At least I'm not there anymore to do it with them.
One day I'll look back at this and laugh but for now I'll just let this finally all go and move on to better things and back to myself.
It's sad to know just how angry and bitter I became.
It's refreshing to know that part of me is fading away.
but...the part that hurts the most is that I miss Adam >:/
but I even more I fear his hands around my neck
I hope he works on himself no matter what.
He's just got to...
:(
cause right now I feel like I can't live without him..
I regret moving to Georgia.
Well not entirely because I love Adam but..
I resent every other damned person I've met there.
Somehow I bet I would have enjoyed myself more if I had done every drug I had been offered.
Part of me doesnt understand why I didn't.
The other half knows its because of the people who offered it.
Especially the people who were nice to my face but worked behind my back to fulfill their own false illusions of having some sort of crown.
"she made you sound so evil" etc. etc.
Southerners disgust me now.
Why did I let such a shallow cult of hollow beings injure my heart?
Not all drug addicts are like them I try to remind myself..
yeah right.
I'm just so sick of being hurt.
Why did I bother to hold out my heart?
I just wanted a friend.
A real friend.
Maybe if he had been to begin with I wouldn't have felt the need to search.
It's not entirely his fault.. but I mean it was a lonely 6 months.
God I wish I could just blow Georgia up.
Every last poser/scenester and or wacked out narrow minded dumbass too.
It's not like the world would be lacking in intelligence, love,peace, understanding or true badass motherfuckers afterwards.
Stupid bumfucks and their pretentious bullshit. Eat my shit.
I'd make every single one of them dig their own graves if I could.
Oh wait it doesn't matter cause they're doing that on their own anyways.
At least I'm not there anymore to do it with them.
One day I'll look back at this and laugh but for now I'll just let this finally all go and move on to better things and back to myself.
It's sad to know just how angry and bitter I became.
It's refreshing to know that part of me is fading away.
but...the part that hurts the most is that I miss Adam >:/
but I even more I fear his hands around my neck
I hope he works on himself no matter what.
He's just got to...
:(
cause right now I feel like I can't live without him..