(Untitled)
I don't think I'm stupid. I mean, if I was stupid, I probably wouldn't know it, because I wouldn't be smart enough to recognize my own ignorance... but I truly don't think I am.
But when presented with a choice or dilemma, I become completely useless. I become so concerned about making the wrong choice, that I choose not to choose at all.
Part of ( Read more... )
People change, but not how you think always. I come from recent history of waiting for change that was repeatedly promised. Sometimes tearfully, sometimes angrily, sometimes vehemently, and she always, always meant it.
But that never made it happen. She really wanted to, too.
Wanting to change, and waiting for someone else to change is not something that works, and I've been told this over and over during and after my own personal experience.
Dedication, commitment, these are important parts of a relationship that will stand the test of time. You don't start with commitment in a marital fashion, but you do have to say "I'm dedicating myself to this, and if I can lay a solid foundation, then we can take the next steps to build upon the foundations we lay."
Indecision isn't a crime, uncertainty especially in your situation is going to be frightening, overwhelming at times. I understand this - I've been there. I didn't marry the girl I got pregnant until after the baby was born. And in retrospect, the childbirth gave us even more of a distraction than ever. Something entirely different to concentrate on rather than our relationship, and it never improved from that point on. We didn't have a foundation, we'd barely known each other a year at that point and only lived together for a short time.
When you have a child and you purchase a vehicle, choose carefully. Look at the models with the best safety features - in the future, there WILL be accidents, it doesn't matter what car you have, or what insurance you own. Speed bumps, obstacles, the occasional retarded deer, other self-concerned drivers weaving around the road, construction. Consider a vehicle that provides the more comfortable and solid ride. Does it have the engine power to get you where you need to go in life. When you buy a fixer-upper vehicle, you purchase all of the problems and own them and make them your own too. Ignore the features, nice things like big TVs, nice stereos and iPod compatibility are just nice to have, but they don't make the car.
Don't buy a vehicle that you have to worry about being able to drive around the next corner. Look for something that you can have the peace of mind and comfort knowing it will always start on a cold morning, and take you where you need to go in life. Having to look to a tow-truck or a nice stranger with jumper cables just to get the basic things done in life is very draining, I know this from personal experience.
It's disheartening to be stuck in a car that you thought you could fix, or find a qualified mechanic to troubleshoot, that just seems to have ongoing issues. But that can be dealt with if you have the years of personal investment available to you. But let's say you don't have the luxury of constant repairs. The first time that you need your car to get you somewhere, say, a doctors appointment for Untitled, and you can't get it to turn over? That's heartbreaking. I know this from personal experience too.
I've picked vehicles that were familiar makes and models before, simply because they were less expensive and more convenient, and regretted it tremendously. I was able to get around to a few important places in life, but it broke down because it simply wasn't meant to be, and the changes and constant repairs it needed all the time and money in the world could not make.
Take your time, consider your options carefully. In the end, my choice is to pick a car I know I can rely on, that comes with some fantastic features I love, some exciting new opportunities, but isn't the cheapest or easiest to get ahold of. But it's a vehicle I know I can depend on to still start and warm me in the coldest winter down the road, and a vehicle that I am at home in, fits me excellently, very well suited for my lifestyle and interests. And it's a car I would be very, very happy getting to see life with.
Reply
Leave a comment