I'm home, and i'm settled and have an adequate amount of sleep, finally!
Writing about the last two days in Nashville is way too much work, i'm just going to link to sarah's entry about it, because she wrote it in much better detail then i would anyway
How did it go so fast?" you'll say as you are looking back... and then you'll understand... we held possums in our hands.
I dropped Ass off at the airport this morning -- his plane left at 7:21 am, which we were both very bitter about. I can't believe that he's gone; the house seems so quiet and empty.
We barely made it there before his plane left, because Sarah-time is not the same as actual time, and I grossly underestimated how long it would take to get to the airport. Had we not been watching the clock and panicking, the drive there would have been great. We listened to Live Through This and sang along raunchily.
It still hasn't sunk in that I'm not going to see him again until December. It doesn't seem real.
Saturday was hectic. We spent most of the day driving around and trying to acquire everything that we needed for the party. My windshield wiper blade wasn't working, so I had to run by an auto parts store to get it replaced, which was sortof stressful, because it kept raining off-and-on and there were a gazillion things we needed to get done.
Ass and I rented a long black wig that worked like a charm with the gothic prom dress that he was wearing. We found it at Flashback, where a neon pink sign on the front window answered our tentative "Wigs?" with a resounding "WIGS!"
I dyed my hair Egyptian Plum, a dark purple that went well with my dark green dress. Ass and I experimented with make-up and prettified ourselves in my bathroom. He wore some of my Black Cherry lipstick, and I went overboard with black eyeliner and silver glitter. I was afraid that I looked like a cheap whore, but it made my eyes smoulder in a way that I liked, trashy or not. We were totally hot.
Driving to Emmy's in formal wear and platform heels was interesting. I couldn't feel the gas pedal under my foot, so I had to just have faith that my shoe was indeed touching it. And there was a pole in the side of my dress that kept poking me in the armpit.
Emmy, Leslie, and Jason were waiting out front when we arrived. (Nimish had called to say that he'd meet us at Jen's.) Emmy had on an incredible light blue dress with an empire waist that hugged her curves like nobody's business and made her look like a princess. It had a sheer overlay with black beads on it. Leslie had on her awesome black dress with the dark pink flowers and the sparkles. Both she and Emmy had gone to the salon to get their hair done, and they looked breathtaking. Jason wore a snazzy suit and shiny shoes.
We forced AL and Lindsay to take pictures of us, and then we piled into the van. Just as we were about to leave, I remembered that I'd forgotten Jen's birthday present (Amelie on DVD) and the yellow plaid polyester suit that Nimish was going to borrow. We had to make a brief detour by my apartment. Ass playfully teased me about being scatterbrained. When the two of us are around each other, the flakiness snowballs out of control. We'd almost made it to Emmy's on time.
When we arrived at Jen's, I felt a little awkward. Her house is huge and extremely nice, and I always feel out of place in wealthy neighborhoods, especially on fancy occasions. No matter how hard people try to make me feel welcome, I still feel like I've fallen into a different world that I don't belong in. We went inside, and the atmosphere was so elegant that it initially made me want to melt through the floor. Everyone was friendly to me, but her kitchen was so classy and ambient that it made me nervous and self-conscious.
Jen had on a strapless red satin dress that suited her perfectly. Nimish showed up just as we did, and he put on The Suit, which made him look like a superhero.
3 desserts and a whole slew of bottles of wine and liquor were lined up on the counter. I helped myself to some English Trifle (which was delicious; I need to get the recipe!) and some vodka with cranberry juice, and I started to relax quickly.
Okay, I'm trying to remember everyone who was there. At first, it was:
Jen's parents
Jen's younger sister Erin, a 20-ish model who's ridiculously pretty but still has a sweet disposition
Erin's boyfriend Justin, a jovial fellow who's into martial arts
Jen's younger sister Kelly, a 13-ish girl whom I absolutely adore
Kelly's friends Sarah and Lindsey, also 13-ish and very fun
Jen's best friend Sam, a drop-dead gorgeous girl with blonde curls who had on an indescribable black lace dress
Matt
Thomas and Rochelle
We mingled for a while and helped ourselves to the plates of food piled on the dining room table, and then we ventured into the living room so that Jen could open presents. Before she ripped into her pile-o-gifts, we passed around a spoon that served as a microphone and sang for her. Matt serenaded her and made us all go "aaawwwww!" Ass did a selection from Hedwig that made me giggle until I thought I might pass out. Erin sang the Italian version of "Happy Birthday" that they do at the Macaroni Grill. Sam sang opera, and her voice was out of this world. It sent chills up my spine. Kelly, Lindsey, and Sarah performed "Baby Got Back," and we were impressed that they knew all of the words, since they were infants when it was popular. Emmy, Lel, and I rejoiced that The Cheat is not dead, but Jen may not have had any idea what the hell we were talking about; Homestarruner.com strikes again! Ass did the little hip jerks that follow "Just the claps!"
I proceeded to keep refilling my glass with vodka and cranberry juice, and it wasn't long at all before I felt dreamy and content.
Matt had set up his old Nintendo (yay for Castlevania!) in one room, and Jen turned on The Cat's Meow in another room upstairs. I wanted to watch the movie, but I was feeling restless, so I bounced back and forth between the two rooms.
Eventually Clint, Megan, Preston, Jack, Leeman, Ernest, Jerry, and Jenny (Jerry's girlfriend, whom I'd never met before but instantly liked) joined the party.
The girls (plus Ass) congregated in one room to begin the game of Trivial Pursuit that would not end. The boys (plus Rochelle, Jenny, and occasionally me -- I couldn't stop drifting) gathered in a circle on the kitchen floor to play a hilarious B-movie card game called Grave Robbers from Outer Space that Leeman had brought. I got a kick out of killing a Co-Ed Science Major with Carnivore Slugs.
It was lovely to get to spend time with some of Matt's friends that I hadn't seen in years. I've always liked Thomas, Jerry, Ernest, etc., but I had no excuse to hang out with them after Matt and I broke up. It made me especially happy to see what cute couples Thomas and Rochelle and Jerry and Jenny made.
While in the Trivial Pursuit room, I played on a team with Kelly and Ass. We came up with the clever name "SKA" by combining our initials, and we had way too much spirit. We insisted on putting our hands together when we rolled the di, and we'd do a little chant that probably made everyone want to kill us. Since I kept abandoning them to see what was up in the kitchen, Nimish replaced me in my absence, and they changed their name to "KAN." This prompted the mantra "KAN-DO!" After I returned, it morphed into "SKA-DO!" Jen's dog Molly later became an honorary team member, at which point we started to call out "SKAM-DO!" It got pretty absurd, particularly when a tacky gold glove became our good luck charm and we insisted on putting all 3 of our hands into it before rolling.
We were a goofy and obnoxious bunch. Because of distractions such as this, we finally had to make every space a wedgie space, just to get the game over with. Even then, though, it didn't work. We were too silly and too intoxicated (at least on my part) for trivia. Leslie's team won by default because they had the most wedgies when we gave up around 3:30 am.
I headed out to the van feeling sleepy and satisfied. Jen's shindig was a smashing success.
Ass and I slept obscenely late on Sunday. Putting us together is dangerous when it comes to slothfulness; in that respect, we bring out the worst in each other. Our laziness knows no bounds. We grunted at each other when the alarm clock went off, and I slapped it grumpily. We went back to sleep. After we finally crawled out from beneath our blankets, we staggered around in a daze until Leslie arrived. I left her and Ass (I doubt that I'd have left Ass by himself) in charge of making pasta and marinara sauce while I went to pick up Emmy, Lindsay, and AL. We ate in my living room and then headed out to Percy Warner park to show Ass our favorite picnic spot by the merry-go-round and the swings and the bridge and the creek (which was dry, unfortunately). We munched on apricots and popcorn and played.
Quote of the day:
"I don't want Ass shit on me!" -- Emmy
After the park, Emmy, Ass, and I stopped by Jen's house to pick up my purse, which I'd left behind. (It would have been out of character for me to remember it.) Emmy drove my car there, since I didn't have my driver's license, and sitting back and chatting with them on the interstate was one of the best parts of the day.
Leslie, AL, and Lindsay had gone to pick up their bathing suits. We met them back at my place and went swimming. Someone had left a giant pink raft by the pool (it was identical to the one that Sanchel and I took out on the river, except for the color), and we commandeered it. We christened it the Pink Pearl and gave ourselves pirate names.
Emmy had issues that were preventing her from getting in, so she was sitting in a lounge chair by the side of the pool, watching us forlornly as we splashed each other and flailed around and made fools of ourselves. After about 20 minutes of this torture, she announced that she wanted to get in on the raft and float around, even if she couldn't get in the water. She bobbed serenely on the surface for about 2 minutes, until I gave her a conspiratorial glance and whispered, "Abandon ship!"
She got a maniacal look on her face, and her eyes grew wide, and I knew that I'd pushed the right button. She yelled, "ABANDON SHIP!!" and waved her arms in a brilliant impersonation of the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean as she leapt from the raft with her clothes on. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. I guess you had to be there to truly appreciate it, but it was hysterical.
Antics and hijinx ensued. All 6 of us managed to get into the "ship," and we took turns pushing each other out, having mutinies, and trying to tip Ass (who's an unsinkable bastard!) out when he stole it from us. We had a ball. Our zany time in the pool (particularly with Emmy wearing a sopping pair of jeans and a wet t-shirt) was priceless.
The pool closed at 9:30, and we returned to my apartment, where we played Essence in the living room. Essence is a game that consists of picking a category, e.g. furniture, and deciding what thing in the category best describes each member of the group. I suggested that I'd be the beaten-up old chair that looks like crap but is too comfortable to get rid of, but they told me that I'd be a handcrafted rolltop desk -- I'm good at keeping secrets, and you come to me for intellectual stimulation. I love this game; it sets you up to get loads of positive feedback from your friends. If I were a dessert, I'd be peach cobbler. If I were an animal, I'd be an owl. If I were a country, I'd be ancient Greece. If I were a smell, I'd be an old book. If I were a drink, I'd be a White Russian -- strong but smooth.
Leslie had to go home around 11:30. After she left, we played a game called Poor Pussy in which one person is a cat and one person is its owner, and you have to see how long the cat can meow while the owner pets its head and says, "Poor pussy, poor pussy..." before anyone laughs. It was really entertaining. Ass is supposedly unbeatable at this game, but my facial expressions made him crack.
"Damn, she's a hard pussy!" -- Emmy, to me
We took the younger ones home around 2 and lingered in the den to play a few rounds of Kirby's Great Adventure. Ass had his tearful goodbye with AL and Lindsay, and then we returned to my apartment. Emmy was spending the night, so we were going to have lots of Emmy-Ass-Sarah time, which we were super-excited about. We discovered that the orange cinnamon rolls in my fridge (bka morsels of sin, an Emmy and Sarah post-swimming tradition) were vegan, so we baked and devoured them. After that, we talked about (or more accurately, sang about) possums for 4 hours. We unfolded the futon in my bedroom and laid on top of it and inserted the word "possum" in place of various nouns in random songs. This amused us much more than it should have. My last conscious memories involve sticking "possum" into Beatles songs and Tori songs.
"Six possums forward, five possums back... I got an angry possum!"
We slept late again (with all 3 of us in the same room, it went completely downhill) and woke up to find that Ass' flight had been cancelled. It was a yucky morning (well, afternoon). We had to call American Airlines and put him on a different plane. We picked Leslie up from work at 4:30 and then went to Dalts, where Ass had trouble finding anything that he could eat, which made me feel bad.
The only up-side to his flight being cancelled was that we got some more time with him. The original plan had been to eat at Dalts and then take him to the airport immediately afterwards, because his flight had been scheduled to leave at 6:30. We were pleased to get an additional evening in his company.
We dropped by Wild Oats and Kroger, picked up Emmy's suit (by then she'd realized that she hadn't had anything to worry about the day before), and went swimming again. The 4 of us played on the raft for an hour, revelling in wackiness. Abby came over as we were getting out of the pool at 9:30. We made 2 cans of orange rolls and played Catch Phrase, a fabulous game that I want to buy now.
As I was standing in the kitchen, waiting for the oven to preheat and listening to the laughter and loud voices coming from the living room, I realized that I was perfectly content. I didn't need anything more than Ass' voice screaming, "Vroom vroom VROOM vroom VROOM!!" to try to get Leslie to guess the word "motor."
Abby took Leslie home, and I took Emmy home at midnight. Ass and I were going to try to get to sleep early, but it was 3:30 when I finally crawled into bed. (What else can be expected from us?) 5:30 came faaaar too early.
After I dropped Ass off at the airport, I dropped his wig off at Flashback and then drove to Franklin to drop my car off at the body shop. A man from the rental car company came and picked me up. I'm going to be driving a white Chevy Cavalier for the next week. I like the way it handles, and it has a groovy CD player.
I got home at 2 and slept until 7:30. I'm still feeling groggy, but I'm getting ready to head over to Nimish's to watch a movie with him and Chuck, so hopefully I'll perk up. I miss Ass. December, why are you so far away?
whew.
its my birthday!
i'm gonna do some thinking and musing later. so be warned.