why am i so messed up? :(
Last nite was the worst nite Ive had in a long time. I mean it was fine at first...I came back to school, saw the girls. It was nice. We watched a movie and all that upstairs on the 5th. Karen went downstairs like 1/2 way through and stacey left right away so cathy and i stayed up stairs to rewind the movie and i didnt even realize i was doing it, but cathy asked why I was rocking back and forth a little and why my face was so red. I have no idea why. I mean when i was younger i would rock a little i think when i was anxious or something. but i think that was long ago. cathy was worried but i told her i was fine. i felt alright I guess at that point.
but i came downstairs to go to bed right after that and i layed down at like 130...but i felt all axious...it like got worse and worse. and by 2 i had to get up and go in the hall bc i was scared i would wake up stacey cuz i was like moving around trying to get comfy. and my heart was racing really bad and i couldnt breath right and i thought i was seriously gonna die right then cuz my chest was so tight and everything. and i didnt know what to do :( :(
I HATE that feeling so much. it hasnt happened in a while. but i was freaking out and it only made it worse bc i was scared. i kept trying to breath really deep to try to get air in my lungs and then i thought i was gonna pass out. :( I think it was like almost 4 by the time I fell asleep. :(
and today my hands wont stop shaking....they ache from being so shakey all day.
Im sooooooooo sick of being this fucked up.
why cant i be normal?
sorry i complained so much. blah.
but i came downstairs to go to bed right after that and i layed down at like 130...but i felt all axious...it like got worse and worse. and by 2 i had to get up and go in the hall bc i was scared i would wake up stacey cuz i was like moving around trying to get comfy. and my heart was racing really bad and i couldnt breath right and i thought i was seriously gonna die right then cuz my chest was so tight and everything. and i didnt know what to do :( :(
I HATE that feeling so much. it hasnt happened in a while. but i was freaking out and it only made it worse bc i was scared. i kept trying to breath really deep to try to get air in my lungs and then i thought i was gonna pass out. :( I think it was like almost 4 by the time I fell asleep. :(
and today my hands wont stop shaking....they ache from being so shakey all day.
Im sooooooooo sick of being this fucked up.
why cant i be normal?
sorry i complained so much. blah.