(no subject)
today might be the last time i get on for a long long long time. My life is just getting so screwed up and school is too. After april vacay my mom is gonn ahve a teacher meeting with the school and shit. She already talked to ms courtny and she told my mom everything that i have been doing so i might be grounded. Oh well its not like it matters anyway the only person that is really talking to me is jonathan and i feel like im pushing him away. Today i saw ben, kayla, tella and brandie and they barely said 2 words to me. That just how everyone has been lately. Im such a screw up in life. I think everyone would be better off if i just like left. Ya some would miss me but in the end they would be better off cuz i wouldnt be there to bring them all down. IM so sick of everyone feeling sorry for me so i try to put up a front in school then i break down when i get home. ONe good thing i guess is that i havent cut in a while cuz i dont wanna dissappoint jonathan. I still think he would be better off without me cuz he always has to make me feel better and that shouldnt happen. Ya we have fun but most of the time we are together he has to calm me down. IT sucks for him. HE needs a gf that he doesnt always have to make her feel better like he has to with me. Ya this is getting too depressing i think ill go now. xoxo TTFN TTYL
Susan
Susan