[fanfic] Beauty
Title: Beauty
Pairing: HanChul
Genre: drama. fluff. romance.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1 216
Warning: unbetad
Summary: 'If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.'
Dedicated to: everkitsune thank you for being my inspiration. thank you for being my friend. thank you for everything. ily ♥
Disclaimer: Don't own Super Junior or HanChul.
A/N:
I wrote this when I had something like writer's block, so don't expect too much from it.
I looked through my weheartit collection to find a prompt and found this quote and thought I could write to it. I don't know if it fits or something.
Even for myself the story seems a bit confusing and idk, the wording sometimes a bit too <-<
Well, I hope you will enjoy nevertheless.
Please leave me a comment after you have read <3
~
He tells you things about beauty, things about him being beautiful, not beautiful enough. You try to laugh it off, to kiss his worries away and tell him often enough that he is more than beautiful and everyone else is nothing compared to him.
But when he wakes you in the middle of the night, cold feet and colder body, his eyes tell you that he still thinks that he is not beautiful enough, for this world, for his own standards.
You are tired and sleepy and just want to put him in your arms and make him smile again, but instead you take his face between your hands and hold him in place so that he has to look at you.
Beauty you tell him Beauty is not everything, but if it would be, you would be the everything of this world. You are the beauty of this world.
His little smile, so little it may be and so faintly it shines, makes you feel calm and better and he curls in your side, holding your hand tight.
You watch him, some days more, some days less, but your eyes always follow his smile when he is around you. You miss him when he is not, when the smile is not there and you want to hold him tight just so he never leaves you again.
But you are the one who is leaving. You are afraid of what happens to him when he is alone, with his fears, his cold feet and colder body, his eyes too deep to shine. You wait every night for his phone call and sometimes you almost call him, just to make sure you can hear his voice at least once a day. But he always calls first, before you can even type in his phone number.
You can hear his fears out of his words, his voice sounds so different, so familiar and you try to tell him. Tell him what he is, that he is more than he could ever imagine.
But he is too far away, he won’t listen to your words and shrugs them off, with laughter, too fake to sound real, with a witty comment, dying halfway on his lips and a smile you know he smiles but doesn’t feel.
You want to take the next flight to him, just to tell him he doesn’t have to be afraid, he doesn’t need to lock himself up and look too long in the mirror. But you can’t, so you just whisper it to him every night before he hangs up, noticing how his breathing changes for a second before you hear the peep tone.
You are back and his eyes got a shade deeper and sparkle a bit with emotions you don’t want to see, but his smile is not faked and you hold onto him, tight and never letting go.
His laughter in your ears is beautiful and you tell him, you tell him how you have missed him and how it was boring and dull without him.
That night is the first and last night he speaks about it, clearly and with words, not with touches and feelings shone through his eyes.
If I can’t be beautiful, I want to be invisible.
His eyes are closed and his voice just a whisper against your neck, soft breath touching your skin. He doesn’t allow you to turn around, his body, warm and heated up from previous movements, pressed against your back and his face nuzzled in your hair.
You take his hands in yours and stroke his skin, ever so soft and white like milk.
You are far away from being invisible, Heechul.
Maybe they were not the right words, because sometimes you don’t know what to say, how to say it right. But you thought he doesn’t need to hear these words again.
you are beautiful
Too often said already and maybe they sound a bit faked by now.
He presses a kiss in your neck and his hands press yours tight and almost painful, but you feel his lips curve at your skin and you hold him tight, let him fall asleep against your back.
You don’t know what he feels and what he thinks, not always and not often enough, but sometimes you are sure he feels beautiful. Maybe not enough, not often enough and not beautiful enough, but he is not invisible, not becoming invisible too soon.
He is shining bright and like a star in everyone’s sky.
You watch him twirling around, meeting other people, people you don’t know but who think the same.
He is beautiful.
Maybe not always his looks, but his personality, his charm when he smiles, when he speaks and looks at people like someone who has too much to give away.
You watch him, closely and always there to hold his hands, tight and reassuring, when he needs you.
The next time you are back from your trip to your country which should be home, but isn’t because honestly you only feel home when he is near you, he has a new haircut and looks at you with shining eyes.
You don’t say anything unusual, not yet and wait until you lie with him in your bed, safely tugged under blankets and his arms around you, still cold feet and colder body.
Your fingers play with his hair and you sigh. He looks up and smiles, a bit too beautiful and you have to kiss the smile from his face to keep it safe in your heart.
I want to be beautiful for you, Geng. You know how you always said I am beautiful? I never knew what you meant with it. I didn’t understand.
You smile, waiting for him to continue, to explain how he knows, understands, it now. What happened and what does he know now?!
But he doesn’t explain it any further and you frown, pinch his cheek lightly and capture his lips again in a kiss.
How could I explain to you what I mean with beautiful?! Because you are the beauty in this world. It would be like I wanted to explain you. Heechul, you don’t have to be beautiful for me, you already are, in everything you do and are.
He smiles and his eyes shine too bright and you spot a little tear glistening at the corner of his eye, but you capture it with your lips before he can notice it too.
He crawls on you and holds you tight, with all his body over yours, tight and safe.
Sometimes you still spot his eyes going dark and his smile being faked, but then he knows where he has to look, where he needs to direct his hands to. You still tell him he is the most beautiful you have ever seen and felt and that he is not only beautiful on the outside.
He still crawls in your bed with cold feet and colder body and tries to warm himself on you and your touches, words and kisses.
But sometimes he just lies on top of you, listening to your heartbeat and you can hear his thoughts whisper to you.
Because of you I am beautiful. Because you make me visible, because you let me shine.
Pairing: HanChul
Genre: drama. fluff. romance.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1 216
Warning: unbetad
Summary: 'If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.'
Dedicated to: everkitsune thank you for being my inspiration. thank you for being my friend. thank you for everything. ily ♥
Disclaimer: Don't own Super Junior or HanChul.
A/N:
I wrote this when I had something like writer's block, so don't expect too much from it.
I looked through my weheartit collection to find a prompt and found this quote and thought I could write to it. I don't know if it fits or something.
Even for myself the story seems a bit confusing and idk, the wording sometimes a bit too <-<
Well, I hope you will enjoy nevertheless.
Please leave me a comment after you have read <3
~
He tells you things about beauty, things about him being beautiful, not beautiful enough. You try to laugh it off, to kiss his worries away and tell him often enough that he is more than beautiful and everyone else is nothing compared to him.
But when he wakes you in the middle of the night, cold feet and colder body, his eyes tell you that he still thinks that he is not beautiful enough, for this world, for his own standards.
You are tired and sleepy and just want to put him in your arms and make him smile again, but instead you take his face between your hands and hold him in place so that he has to look at you.
Beauty you tell him Beauty is not everything, but if it would be, you would be the everything of this world. You are the beauty of this world.
His little smile, so little it may be and so faintly it shines, makes you feel calm and better and he curls in your side, holding your hand tight.
You watch him, some days more, some days less, but your eyes always follow his smile when he is around you. You miss him when he is not, when the smile is not there and you want to hold him tight just so he never leaves you again.
But you are the one who is leaving. You are afraid of what happens to him when he is alone, with his fears, his cold feet and colder body, his eyes too deep to shine. You wait every night for his phone call and sometimes you almost call him, just to make sure you can hear his voice at least once a day. But he always calls first, before you can even type in his phone number.
You can hear his fears out of his words, his voice sounds so different, so familiar and you try to tell him. Tell him what he is, that he is more than he could ever imagine.
But he is too far away, he won’t listen to your words and shrugs them off, with laughter, too fake to sound real, with a witty comment, dying halfway on his lips and a smile you know he smiles but doesn’t feel.
You want to take the next flight to him, just to tell him he doesn’t have to be afraid, he doesn’t need to lock himself up and look too long in the mirror. But you can’t, so you just whisper it to him every night before he hangs up, noticing how his breathing changes for a second before you hear the peep tone.
You are back and his eyes got a shade deeper and sparkle a bit with emotions you don’t want to see, but his smile is not faked and you hold onto him, tight and never letting go.
His laughter in your ears is beautiful and you tell him, you tell him how you have missed him and how it was boring and dull without him.
That night is the first and last night he speaks about it, clearly and with words, not with touches and feelings shone through his eyes.
If I can’t be beautiful, I want to be invisible.
His eyes are closed and his voice just a whisper against your neck, soft breath touching your skin. He doesn’t allow you to turn around, his body, warm and heated up from previous movements, pressed against your back and his face nuzzled in your hair.
You take his hands in yours and stroke his skin, ever so soft and white like milk.
You are far away from being invisible, Heechul.
Maybe they were not the right words, because sometimes you don’t know what to say, how to say it right. But you thought he doesn’t need to hear these words again.
you are beautiful
Too often said already and maybe they sound a bit faked by now.
He presses a kiss in your neck and his hands press yours tight and almost painful, but you feel his lips curve at your skin and you hold him tight, let him fall asleep against your back.
You don’t know what he feels and what he thinks, not always and not often enough, but sometimes you are sure he feels beautiful. Maybe not enough, not often enough and not beautiful enough, but he is not invisible, not becoming invisible too soon.
He is shining bright and like a star in everyone’s sky.
You watch him twirling around, meeting other people, people you don’t know but who think the same.
He is beautiful.
Maybe not always his looks, but his personality, his charm when he smiles, when he speaks and looks at people like someone who has too much to give away.
You watch him, closely and always there to hold his hands, tight and reassuring, when he needs you.
The next time you are back from your trip to your country which should be home, but isn’t because honestly you only feel home when he is near you, he has a new haircut and looks at you with shining eyes.
You don’t say anything unusual, not yet and wait until you lie with him in your bed, safely tugged under blankets and his arms around you, still cold feet and colder body.
Your fingers play with his hair and you sigh. He looks up and smiles, a bit too beautiful and you have to kiss the smile from his face to keep it safe in your heart.
I want to be beautiful for you, Geng. You know how you always said I am beautiful? I never knew what you meant with it. I didn’t understand.
You smile, waiting for him to continue, to explain how he knows, understands, it now. What happened and what does he know now?!
But he doesn’t explain it any further and you frown, pinch his cheek lightly and capture his lips again in a kiss.
How could I explain to you what I mean with beautiful?! Because you are the beauty in this world. It would be like I wanted to explain you. Heechul, you don’t have to be beautiful for me, you already are, in everything you do and are.
He smiles and his eyes shine too bright and you spot a little tear glistening at the corner of his eye, but you capture it with your lips before he can notice it too.
He crawls on you and holds you tight, with all his body over yours, tight and safe.
Sometimes you still spot his eyes going dark and his smile being faked, but then he knows where he has to look, where he needs to direct his hands to. You still tell him he is the most beautiful you have ever seen and felt and that he is not only beautiful on the outside.
He still crawls in your bed with cold feet and colder body and tries to warm himself on you and your touches, words and kisses.
But sometimes he just lies on top of you, listening to your heartbeat and you can hear his thoughts whisper to you.
Because of you I am beautiful. Because you make me visible, because you let me shine.