happy as I could be

[crying_goddess]

happy as i could be

i waited too long to tell you the truth

and now you're as good as gone

could you listen to me

while i tell you the story

everything I swore i wouldnt tell

the darkness that stole me from you

and hinders me still

born a nuisance out of rape

taken far from the birthland

fathered by a stranger

with a crazy man living in his stead

lived a lie and found out the truth

i was not who they said i was

claimed by a master

maimed by choice

left a name and a past behind

became reborn and renewed

living in ignorance's cruel torment

fighting urges i could not then name

I hid in a tangeable shame

until I was found

and fell in love and broke my heart

reached out and touched my core

took my hurt and anger

out by throwing myself around

and entered the darkness

haunted by the master

him in the back of my mind

just to reach out and touch

then i met you

and I liked you from the start

your smile lifted my heart

but I ran away hard and fast

because in your face I saw the master

and I was scared

so i hurt you

and I did it on purpose

because i was a coward

because i was afraid

and i drove you away

I didnt want to feel for you

because you reminded me of my fears

but all the while, i had hoped you'd stay

but you did as predicted

and I tried to erradicate memory

the memory of you

and i sunk further into the black

becoming a slave to my fears

and in chains i left

because I didn't want you to see

see me for the coward that i truely am

and I keep running

but I'll tell you the truth

I'm not sorry for what i did

i never lied when i said you were better off without me

for seeing me- the me on the inside

and I wish you luck and happiness

and I just wanted you to know

I'm as happy as i could be.