What is Love?
Tonight I needed to be alone, I needed to find time to ponder, to feel, to write. I decided to take the notebook to a serene setting, some place where I can feel peaceful and close to my own heart. I chose the dock at the Scottsdale Lake, overlooking the small but pretty lake and the starry sky. I wanted to write a poem, I put on some Death Cab and began to write. Soon however, this poem took a turn. I got more raw and less worried about the functioning of a poem. This passage transformed into an emotional letter to Jesus Christ. I wrote about love, and all the insecurities and all the power it amasses. These are my words from my notebook, the font is the same in my notebook as it is in this entry. Never have I felt so close to him towards the end of my letter. This is my letter I wrote tonight...
Heavenly Father,
Water wells into my dreaming eyes, my only hope is that you will forget these past alibis. I need confidence to stay here in this condition, just give me a reason to stay. I am searching for the ultimate gift, Love, it is my internal fear. If you died for us, so we could live beautifully, then why is there such a lack of it? Shouldn't we be loving one another with undying passion? What is love? Is it man made, like the fabric that flows over my body? Did you create it? Why am I so blind to this intangible endeavor? These tear filled eyes only see destruction, pain sears into my dreaming eyes. What is love? Can this item be truly found on Earth? Is it hidden atop the highest peak of the highest mountain? Is it buried deep in majestic oceans? Where is this hidden treasure? It seems not enough feel. I believe you and I are in love, but why can't your sons and daughters, my brothers and sisters feel? Dreamers dream and I dream of love. I know this relationship has what I desire. If so: This love has to be spread, reaching out to the souls who need it most. This has to be my sign, my meaning for being blessed into life. Your compassion is what I have been searching for, Oh Lord I need you so much closer tonight. I need your strength till the end of my fight. I need you to pour your love into my soul, so I can SCREAM is out to others. Blood will be shed on this journey, my tears will be YOUR tears from heaven above. Use me Lord, use me to transport the gift to other hearts. If I was put on this planet for one thing and one thing only, let me DIE spreading your wisdom! JESUS I NEED YOU! YOU DIED FOR ME AND I WILL DIE FOR YOU! HELP ME IN THIS FIGHT! WE NEED YOU! MY LIFE IS FOR YOU LORD! I LOVE YOU, I AM HERE FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THERE FOR ME. Society needs this news, that I have found where love is. Love is in FAITH, our TRUST towards you. Give me strength Lord, you are my rock...Let me be the rock to others here in reality.
I LOVE YOU.